The Polymath Chronicles

I'm Coming Out

2012-01-24T18:19:00.001-06:00

There has been a ton of stuff in the news and on the blogs and the Twitter this week about Paula Deen’s admission that she was diagnosed Type 2 diabetic over three years ago. This in and of itself is about as shocking as finding out that poor Amy Winehouse died of complications from alcoholism, or that John Candy had a heart attack. No less sad, but not exactly a head scratcher. A lot of my friends have been asking me what I think about the whole hoopla, and while I am not really interested in going too much into detail, for what it is worth, here is the short version of my opinion:

I have always been vaguely squicked out by a lot of the food she cooks. The over the top amount of fat and sugar was too much even for me, and anyone who knows me knows I love some fat and sugar. But like many others, the bacon cheeseburger between two doughnuts?

The Krispy Crème Bread pudding with sweetened condensed milk?

The deep-fried butter balls?

That is not food, in my opinion.

Early on in her career I found her sort of charming as a television persona, so I would tune in now and again, even though I don’t know that I ever actually wanted to make any of her food, but I stopped watching the show after a while because I felt personally that the "persona" had taken over, and felt somewhat like a caricature. From all reports, despite her diagnosis in 2008, the food on her show never altered in its insane level of unhealthy. Her own son has a new cooking show where he takes her recipes and tries to make them human... I caught half of one where he took her recipe for pimento cheese, and apparently in her version it had nearly 800 calories PER SERVING, not to meantion over 57 grams of fat!! Anthony Bourdain called her the most dangerous person in America for promoting her type of food in a country plagued with an obesity epidemic especially among children. (Now, I've seen Tony on TV eating enough Foie Gras, duck fat, and pork products at one meal to kill a small elephant, so perhaps he oughtent be quite so harsh, but still...)

I, like many others, do find it more than a little smarmy and self-serving that her public admission comes on the heels of signing a major endorsement deal with a big pharmaceutical company who makes diabetes medication. They are about to launch a huge PR program that Paula will be the face of, which would be less annoying if she had been publically making changes since her diagnosis, or if her diagnosis were very recent and it was part of her "new lifestyle". The whole thing seems somewhat suspect to me, and a shame, because she lost the opportunity of the last 3+ years to help her audience and other diabetics. Not that I think she should have turned her programs into health food shows, but even being open about her own issues and bringing in SOME healthier recipes would have been a very good thing for her audience.

At the end of the day, my primary feeling about Paula Deengate is that I hope she stays healthy, I hope she uses her public forum to help educate people, and hopefully becomes a postive role model for both diabetics and people at risk for developing the disease.

I do not have an endorsement deal with a pharma company. Nor do I have the kind of notoriety that will have any public outcry from the news I am about to share…but I too was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes about six and a half months ago. I was very lucky that we caught it at my annual physical, that I was totally asymptomatic, and within three months was able to bring my sugar levels back into the normal range through diet and exercise and the help of a medication that I am not being paid to promote. (But hey, if the Janumet people are reading this, feel free to make me an offer!)

My decision to not share this with my Chickens until now, was calculated. Not because I have a product to promte or because I am being paid by anyone, but because I wanted to spend some time to figure out what my identity is as a person living with diabetes. I wanted to spend some time thinking about this blog and its place in my life and as representative of who I am as a writer, and decide thoughtfully how my new reality might impact that. I knew that I did not want to suddenly become a “Diabetes Blog”, or to only share recipes that were “diabetic friendly”, because those are not the things that inspire me to write, nor are those the things that I want to cook all the time. One of the most important things for me was to get to a place where I understood how my condition was becoming a part of me and my life before sharing with all of you.

The most important change for me as a cook and an eater was the universal agreement by my doctor, my diabetic nutritionist, and my diabetic nurse educator was that there are NO FORBIDDEN FOODS. Not one. There is not a single thing in the world I cannot eat. I just have to manage my portions. I can have pie. I just can’t have the WHOLE pie. I can have sugar. I can have pasta. I just have to know how much I am allowed to have at any one time and not go above that amount. EVER.

I can’t do what I used to do when dieting, saving all my carb portions for the whole day for a pasta blowout or Cheetos festival. My life is about managing my sugar and preventing spikes, so no more huge bowls of mashed potatoes for dinner. But a half-cup of mashed potatoes next to my chicken and broccoli? Sure! The occasional 1 oz bag of Cheetos along with my lunch salad, or a scant cup of pasta with a ton of veggies bulking up the sauce? Absolutely. Is it better if the Cheetos are baked and the pasta whole grain? You bet. But if I want the real deal, I can have it. I just have to balance it with my other food, and not go over my limit. Low carb, not no carb is the only way for diabetics to keep their sugars in check, and not going into deprivation-mode keeps you MUCH happier psychologically.

I’ve been working the low-carb thing for just over six months now, and while it is really hard sometimes, it also has allowed me to get a handle on a lot of my eating issues. I’m down 3-4 sizes, trying to focus on getting smaller and healthier as opposed to “losing weight”, judging progress mostly by how my clothes fit and how I feel, so I’m not enslaving myself to the scale. I’m somewhere in the vicinity of 40 lbs lighter than I was six months ago, but most importantly, I have had normal blood sugar numbers for 3 months, and my lifestyle has changed for the better.

Part of this for me was that I am NOT dieting. I’m not counting calories. I’m not writing things down in a journal, or rocking a points system. Because these things have never worked for me in the past. They work well for some, and my feeling is WHATEVER works for you, go forth. Just never was able to have success myself with those methods.

Instead, as a major recovering carboholic (hence the whole diabetes thing), I’m counting and managing carbs, and getting regular exercise, and so far, that has done the trick. I know that in the near future I will likely hit a plateau and stop getting smaller, and then I will have to start paying stronger attention to some of my other food groups or up the amount of exercise I am doing, but until that happens; eating-wise my sole focus is on my carbs. And it is pretty easy once you get used to it. No more than 12 total carb servings a day, no less than 10 per day, and no more than 4 servings in any five hour period. It is just that simple.

One serving of carbs is 15 net grams, so as long as I eat between 45-60 grams in a five hour period of my waking day, I’m good to go. Net carb grams is essentially the total number of carbs in any ingredient or food item, minus ½ the number of grams of fiber. So if I have whole grain pasta, and one portion is 35 grams of total carbs, but there are 10 grams of dietary fiber, my net carbs are 30 grams, which is 2 carb portions.

I try for at least 2/3 of my daily carb intake to be from “healthy carbs”, i.e.: skim milk, whole fruits, whole grains and whole grain breads. But I don’t deny myself the occasional “processed” carb or refined sugar. Keeping these things in my diet in moderation has saved me from falling off the wagon or bingeing. I often save one of my evening carb portions for something sweet…four squares of ultra dark chocolate is one carb, and while it isn’t a hot fudge sundae (oh how I miss a hot fudge sundae) it is real chocolate, delicious, and keeps me mentally sated. On the days where ALL my carbs are super healthy, I feel very virtuous, but on the rare days when only ½ of them are, I don’t beat up on myself. It is all about balance, and if I keep within my allowable portions, I know I don’t put my health in danger.

Obviously this is the very Reader’s Digest version, but as I mentioned, I have no intention of this become a diet or diabetic blog. You are still going to get tons of amazing “normal” recipes (wait till I tell you about the Brown Sugar Bacon Cookies!), and the usual rants about whoever has ticked me off this week. But when I come across a healthy recipe that I think is amazingly delish? I’ll share.

You have to be careful with this type of eating, in that low-carb does not always equal low-calorie. Sometimes the calories can even be higher, which seems rude to me. But for the moment, as long as I am staying within my limits, I am good to go.

In honor of my coming out, I thought I would share a delicious low-carb recipe, that also happens to be gluten free. (I don’t have a gluten issue, but if you do or know someone who does, here you go!)

This is a new one that I found over at ibreatheimhungry.com and I have adapted it a bit. Again, this is not a low-calorie recipe, the calories are actually about the same as they would be for regular pizza crust, but for those of us who need to do low-carb or gluten free, it is a boon. Because flax meal is entirely dietary fiber, the net carbs are negligible. Which means if you are craving pizza in that “I want to eat a WHOLE pizza” way and not the “I am fine with being rational and having one piece of pizza and a big salad” way, but don’t want to derail your low-carb thing, especially for diabetics it is a much safer thing to eat. The recipe also works for making crackers, which is a great thing to bring to the next wine and cheese party, especially if you aren't advertising your need to avoid lots of carbs. Even better, it doesn’t need to rise and comes together in about 2 minutes, so you can actually have pizza faster than delivery. It is a great base for whatever toppings you like, great for experimenting with leftovers!

Almost No-Carb Pizza Crust

Adapted from I Breathe I’m Hungry Blog

1 cup flax meal (ground flax seeds, I get mine at Whole Foods)

1 whole egg plus one egg white (the original used 2 whole eggs, but I’m saving where I can, and it doesn’t affect the end result as far as I can tell)

1/3 cup finely grated parmesan cheese (the original used ½ c, but I found it fine with the slight reduction, and better for making crackers so that the parmesan flavor was less pronounced and didn’t interfere with any cheese you might want to eat with the crackers)

1 t kosher salt

Mix all ingredients in a medium bowl. Press onto a cookie sheet covered in parchment paper about 1/3 inch thick in a circle, leaving a slight ridge around the edge.

Bake in a preheated 350 degree (F) oven for 10-12 minutes. Should feel very firm to the touch. Remove. Cool at least 15 minutes on a rack, but longer if you want.

Place crust on a piece of parchment paper on a cutting board or on the back of a sheet pan. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Add a light bit of sauce and the toppings of your choice (anything that is likely to get soggy, like watery veggies-tomatoes, peppers, onions, you might want to pre-cook to prevent the crust from losing its crisp).

I want to try doing just toppings and cheese and sauce on the side for dipping, but I like a really crispy crust. As is, with sauce and not too much topping moisture, you should have a crust that is firm enough to pick up, but still pliable. Slide the pizza (still on the paper) onto the center rack of your oven. Bake for another 14-18 minutes at 400. Your toppings should be bubbling and your crust should be crispy on the outside. Remove by pulling the parchment gently towards you and sliding the pizza back onto the cutting board or back of a sheet pan. Let rest 5 minutes before cutting. I like to do this at higher heat and directly on the rack because it helps ensure the crust stays crisp on the bottom.

For this pizza, I used about ¼ c of marinara sauce, 1 leftover turkey meatball that I diced up, about ½ a fresh mozzarella ball, sliced thin, and some fresh basil. Because the crust is whole grain, it is filling, so this 10 inch pizza is enough to serve 2 people pretty amply, which would make it both rational in terms of calories and very low carb.

Please understand, this is not going to have the taste or texture of regular bread dough. It will remind you more of a soft nutty whole grain cracker. So if you are having serious PIZZA cravings, you might find it disappointing. But the flavor is good, and if you are open to it being its own thing, I think you will like it. You can experiment and add herbs or other hard cheeses to the dough, try it with golden flax meal instead of brown, whatever you want!

CRACKERS: To make crackers, press or roll the dough thinly as you can on a greased cookie sheet. Drizzle or spray with a small amount of olive oil. If you want toppings like poppyseeds or sesame seeds or herbs, sprinkle them on top. Score with a knife into the size crackers you want, I usually do squat rectangles. Bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes, or until they feel very firm to the touch. Cool on a rack before breaking into crackers.

The last thing I will say is this...if you are at risk, either because of family history or a weight problem, get tested. If your doctors says your sugars are pre-diabetic or getting close, get some help and change your eating before it becomes full-blown, because words like Chronic and Managable are not equal to Fun and Delightful. There are plenty of skinny people who get Type 2 diabetes, and plenty of obese people who don't. But know your numbers, and if you need to, make some changes. Even the difference of losing 10 pounds or changing your diet or getting some exercise can make a world of difference. I was on the high side of normal sugars for about five years, and if I had made some of these changes then, I might have avoided it becoming full-blown altogether. Dumbass me.

Stay tuned later this week when we talk about some molecular cocktails and those Brown Sugar Bacon Cookies. In honor of poor Paula Deen and everything she is going through this week. Because if you are going to save one of your precious carb portions to have just one cookie, you definitely want bacon in it. I'm not saying, I'm just saying. (And Paula? You can't deep fry it or put it between two doughnuts, 'kay?)

Yours in Good Taste,

The Polymath

Check out this new cookbook!

2012-01-23T15:33:00.000-06:00

I was very honored when the people from Lodge Cast Iron, a company whose products I love and use and recommend all the time, asked me to contribute a recipe to their new cookbook!

As you all know, I am a total cookbook junkie, and have dreams of writing one of my own someday, so this was like a little gift! And which is better, the book is filled with the kinds of recipes I love, warm, comforting home cooking, sourced from all sorts of wonderful people, from culinary professionals to passionate home cooks. I am very proud to have been a part of it.

You can pre-order your copy by clicking here. The Lodge Cast Iron Cokbook

They have printed my recipe for caramelized Brussels sprouts, which I have used over the years to make fans of many a staunch sprout hater. Charming Suitor never much liked the sprouts till I made them for him this way, and Amazing Goddaughter loves them more than any child has ever loved a green vegetable.

But while the cookbook would be worth it for just that recipe alone, there are dozens more I'm excited to try, including a prize-winning chili recipe, pan-roasted sausage and grapes from award winning cookbook author Clifford A. Wright, and CS will heartily approve of the This Ain't No Yankee Cornbread recipe from Tamie Cook, the culinary director of the Good Eats series.

I hope you will check it out!

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Christmas FAIL

2012-01-22T14:41:00.000-06:00

Let me preface this post by saying that Charming Suitor and I had a wonderful Christmas. We were both on vacation, we honored the traditions of my people by having a Chinatown Peking Duck feast and movie on Christmas Eve. And the traditions of his by spending Christmas Day with my brother from another mother Officer K and his family, twinkly lights and presents and glorious ham.

Let me also say that I completely own my personal part of the failure of which I am about to speak. I do not want to imply that this situation wasn't of my own making.

And yet...

NapaStyle.com can suck it.

Not familiar with NapaStyle? They are the retail catalog and online store owned by Chef Michael Chiarello. They sell tableware, gourmet presents, home decor, you know, my heroin. I had never ordered anything from them before, but in the pre-holiday internet surfing, I came across their site, and wandered about for a while. I have always had respect for Chef Chiarello. From all reports he is a skilled chef, and genuinely nice guy. I have watched him on shows like Top Chef Masters, and thought he seemed a good competitor, made interesting food, and seemed universally well liked by his peers. Charming Suitor and I have always said that on our next trip to Napa, we want to eat at his restaurant. So I do not blame him for the issues I have with his side business. I'm pretty sure he doesn't run it himself, but has a team of people managing the retail side for him. And they can suck it.

I will start by saying that CS and I discussed the Christmas Tree thing back around Thanksgiving. Being Jewish, I've never had one, but was certainly not adverse if CS wanted to have one, I think they are beautiful. However, CS gave me a quick lesson in the less than fun aspects of having a tree. We agree that neither of us like the look of the fake trees. They seem all plasticy and trying to be something they are not.

Real trees, apparently, are a major pain in the butt. They get needles and sap everywhere, which is not ideal when you have really nice antique rugs that cost a fortune to clean. They are a pain to set up and an even bigger pain to take down. There is no earthly way to prevent the lights from becoming a tangled mess.

Then there is the cost. Having had cats for the better part of the last two decades, CS never had a tree, because tree + cats = broken ornaments and possible catrocution. So CS does not own a single ornament, string of lights, or tree topper. He smiled at me and my willingness to go all decorative for his holiday, but gently suggested that if he let me loose on designing a tree, we might have to hock a kidney to pay for it. Having looked online at some ornaments, some of which were upwards of $20 EACH, I recognized that he was right. Starting from scratch sounded very expensive, and we were both looking forward to the post-holiday sales, I knew I'd much rather have new boots than a tree.

Fast forward to December 14, and my discovery of NapaStyle. While looking around the site, I see it.

A Christmas Tree.

Made out of reclaimed French oak wine barrel staves.

Let's think about this....

They take old French wine barrels, which have given their all in the creation of delicious wines, take them apart, and craft Christmas trees out of them. So while they technically fall into the "fake" tree catagory, they do so in a stylish way and without plastic greenery. They are a repurposed product, so very "Green", which we like. And Charming Suitor is a serious oenophile and wine collector, so I knew he would appreciate a wine barrel tree. It is only 45" tall, so not some enormous monstrosity, and folds flat for easy storage.

My heart leapt. It looked like we could have the best of both worlds, a sort of a holiday tree, that would look great, last forever, and not be a huge pain in the ass.

At this point, I realized that all over the NapaStyle website it said "Order ground shipping by December 18 for guaranteed Christmas Delivery." I could picture the whole thing. If I ordered that moment, I would get the tree by around the 20th. The 21st was CS' last day of work before vacation, so while he was gone I could set up the tree, add a few little white lights, and maybe some trinkets from around the house...I have every champagne cork from every bottle we have shared since our first date, I could just place some of them on the "branches" and call it a day. No enormous investment in ornaments.

The tree was not inexpensive, and CS and I had agreed not to do presents for each other, but I could not resist. It was our first Christmas as a married couple and I wanted to do something special.

And I failed.

I ordered promptly. And waited. I got an order confirmation, but no shipping confirmation. No tracking number. By the 18th, I was getting worried that the surprise element would be impossible to pull off. I checked my order. It listed it as Processing. I e-mailed Customer Service, asking why there was no shipping confirmation, when I had ordered within the advertised time for Ground Delivery by Christmas.

Customer Service?

Did not reply.

On the 19th, I checked again. Processing. There was no way this thing was arriving by Christmas. I went back to the listing for the tree just to look at it again, and then I saw it. In tiny little print at the bottom "This item ships directly from Manufacturer, allow 3-4 weeks for delivery."

F***. F***ety F*** F*** F***.

Now, I know that it was my responsibility to read the whole page before ordering this thing. I get that they put that on the listing so that people knew it took a long time for the thing to get delivered. And therefore I know that the Christmas failure, in almost every aspect, is my own.

HOWEVER.

For NapaStyle to have a CHRISTMAS item listed in their SEASONAL GIFTS section on December 14 on their website, which is screaming at you all over the place that you can order things Ground Shipping by Dec. 18 for Christmas delivery, and not make exceedingly clear that there is no freaking way to have that item by Christmas, that is just crappy. Even if you keep the listing up, make the shipping restrictions BOLD, big letters, top of the listing. THIS ITEM WILL NOT ARRIVE IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS. Which is worse, even if they decided not to do that, it is not hard to have your checkout set up with a ping that would tell you the item is a 3-4 week delivery time. I ordered a bra the same day, and at checkout was informed that it was backordered and would not ship before 1/20, and it asked did I still want to order it? A $45 bra. Just a heads up, this will take a while to get to you. But a $300 CHRISTMAS TREE? That won't arrive for Christmas? You're on your own, lady.

I took a deep breath. It was the holidays. Magical things happen all the time. I sent Customer Service another e-mail. Explained the sitch. Asked for the phone info for the manufacturer, figuring maybe I could light a fire directly and still make it in time. Wouldn't be as big a surprise, but we could decorate it together and still have it for the holiday.

Customer Service?

Never replied.

But suddenly @NapaStyle was following me on Twitter.

I gave it another shot, and tweeted to @NapaStyle AND @ChefMichaelChiarello Hoping for a Christmas Miracle.

Neither replied.

I direct messaged @NapaStyle "Having a issue and no response from customer service. Help?"

No help was forthcoming. I fessed up the whole mess to CS, who laughed, said it was a sweet thought, and that I was just really ahead of the game for next year. Which made me feel better, but still....

Yesterday evening Charming Suitor and I returned from the Farm to discover a huge box on the front porch. Yep, FIVE weeks later, our tree has arrived. And to be clear, it is everything I thought it would be. It is truly lovely, the perfect size, smells deliciously of oak and aged wine, and will be a wonderful addition to our holidays for years to come. Charming Suitor absolutely loves it. And we agree on two things.

We have the coolest Christmas tree of anyone we know.

And NapaStyle is off our list.

Because I get that ultimately the initial problem was my own idiocy and lack of careful reading....but the complete and total unresponsiveness, particularly at that time of year, is just unforgivable.

Yours in Good Taste and Festive Spirit,

The Polymath

C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me.

2012-01-13T18:26:00.003-06:00

It's the little things. That's what they always tell you. Falling in love, or out of love for that matter, is almost never about the big things, it is about the smallest things.

I have occasionally flippantly said that I divorced my wasband because he brought home the wrong salad dressing from the grocery store. This isn't empirically true. I divorced him because after 11 years together, it became clear that we were no longer in love, no longer a good or smart or fixable match. We had grown in directions that weren't compatible, and that manifested itself in myriad ways. All of them little. We weren't big fighters, there weren't horrible abusive blow-ups. There wasn't some enormous catalystic event.

(Catalystic is a word I have just made up, and give to you for your own use. I'm a professional writer, I can do that.)

Nope, it was just a build-up of many many little things, the last of which happened to be bringing home the wrong salad dressing. Which wasn't about the salad dressing at all, but rather about recognizing that after all those years, the man I was living with had no clue who I was or what made me happy. (Or what makes salad delicious, but that is secondary.)

On the flip side, it is also the little things that made me fall in love with Charming Suitor, and make me love him a little bit more every eleven minutes. The inumerable ways he has shown me every day since we met that I matter, the way he honors my opinions, the way he makes me laugh. It is the way he will get into my side of the bed in the winter to warm it for me before I get in. His genuine excitement at spending time out in the woods chopping down trees with my dad. His tolerance of my (many) quirks and foibles. The way he makes a perfect Negroni.

One of the things that always makes my heart smile is how he interacts with "my" friends. (Who are now, blissfully, OUR friends.)

Case in point, today's e-mail exchange about Amazing Goddaughter's current entreprenaurial endeavor:

From: Rachel

Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 9:56 AM
To: Kevin; Stacey; Bill; susan; Jeremy; Denise; John

Subject: girl scout cookies, oh yeah it's happening...

Hello friends...

It's finally happening, Charlotte is selling girl-scout cookies, anyone interested in being pitched?

From: John
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 10:07 AM
To: Rachel; Kevin; Stacey; Bill; susan; Jeremy; Denise
Subject: RE: girl scout cookies, oh yeah it's happening...

Yes, but I will require a side by side analysis of what makes her cookies better than others, including both qualitative and quantitative analysis. I expect a crisp sales pitch and I can only allow 10 minutes of my time.

Also, I’d like some thin mints to snack on while I’m being pitched.

Charming Suitor's response?

From: Bill
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012 10:07 AM
To: Rachel; Kevin; Stacey; John; susan; Jeremy; Denise
Subject: RE: girl scout cookies, oh yeah it's happening...

As this is my business, I concur with John’s analysis.

First of all, in a commoditized business, first mover advantage is critical. We, for example to date, have purchased 3 boxes of cookies from the breeders in my office who have inundated me with seemingly innocent sign-up sheets. This does not preclude additional purchases, but rather provides a leading indicator for future gains in potential share. I believe we can establish benchmarks for next year’s selling season.

As per John’s thinly (mintly?) veiled hint alludes, sampling programs are among the most effective trial vehicles to establish both awareness and conversion. Again, I can provide a sample of one, confirming that the likelihood of purchasing Angry Samoans increases exponentially if one is simultaneously tasting said Samoan. I am sure that this result is transferable to Thin Mint consumers. Of course, the issue is always scaleability.

As there are at least two and possibly three Peanut Butter-driven product offerings available, Charlotte might stress the potential for breadth across the product line as opposed to depth of penetration within any given single vertical formulation.

Don’t overlook the opportunity to initiate an ongoing panel to determine more brand-oriented metrics. We might consider a test versus control approach to benchmarking “softer” metrics like relative happiness of those who purchase Charlotte’s cookies versus the control group of complete slackers and non-nurturers who do not purchase cookies.

The possibilities are endless. The challenge is establishing solid objectives, employing aligned strategies and flawless tactical execution.

Remember, people buy from people they like, so I’m sure Charlotte will be wildly successful.

Bill

And that? Right there? That is why I married him. Because this e-mail made me laugh like a hyena in the middle of my day.

And because he knows what salad dressing I like.

It's the little things.

I can't guarantee you a CS of your own, but I can tell you that a good Negroni covers a lot of ills:

Negroni

1 part Campari
1 part Gin
1 part Sweet Vermouth

Mix well and serve over ice with a slice of orange. More delicious if shared with someone you adore.

Yours in Good Taste,

The Polymath

Happy New Year! And wash your damn hands.

2012-01-10T19:25:00.000-06:00

Chickens, in honor of the new year that has begun, and the spirit of change and embracing newness that accompanies this time of year, I want to talk about food safety.

I know, I know, every other blog in the world is discussing how to stick to your resolutions, how to get rid of those holiday pounds everyone packed on, how to celebrate the wonders of the new year, offering expressions of love and gratitude.

And don’t get me wrong, I am full of love and gratitude. 2011, while somewhat relentless, was the best year of my life, since I got to marry my soul mate and best friend, have wonderful travels, and write a book that I am very proud of, which I will get to share with you next summer.

While I managed to get through the festivities without putting on any weight, I didn’t lose any either, so it is time to get refocused on continuing to get smaller and healthier. I make it a habit not to make resolutions, except to remember to be good to the people I love, laugh more, be kinder.

But a recent experience of a friend of mine made me think about a topic that is near and dear to my heart as a cook and a hostess, and I thought it was time I shared my thoughts. After all, I consider it my obligation to inspire you all to eat well and entertain better, and sometimes that means fun ideas for tablesettings and delicious recipes, and sometimes it is more practical.

Last week, one of my besties e-mailed our little lunch bunch to inquire as to the best way to avoid eating at an event at her friend’s home that evening.

Not because she is on a post-holiday diet, her bod is, as the kids say, slammin’.

And not because she has dietary restrictions due to illness or religion.

She wanted to know how to handle not eating there because she knows her friend to be lax in the hand-washing department, having witnessed this otherwise put-together pal skip the sink in a public restroom, and a surprising dearth of hand soap in the woman’s personal bathroom and kitchen.

We all recommended that she eat before she arrived, and then claim a recent bout of stomach flu had left her tummy wonky. Apparently this tactic worked, and she was able to spend the evening with her friends and not let any food pass her lips. But it made me think. Maybe there are people who just don’t know how to handle food safety in their home, or how to make it clear to their guests that there is nothing to fear in the hummus.

It almost goes without saying that I’m very diligent about food safety.

Charming Suitor might say obsessive, but it is his own fault that he didn’t eat the leftover take-out within a time frame I considered to be safe, and my throwing it away was just an expression of my love, protecting him from tummy troubles.

Every time.

(You have three days, my love, and then it gets binned. Period.)

Expiration dates are my friends, I do pay careful attention to them. (Not to be confused with Sell By dates, I’m diligent but not ridiculous.)

But here is the deal…I have spent my entire adult life dealing with stomach issues. Gastric reflux since I was 18, gallbladder removal in my early 30s. I have enough problems dealing with my stomach’s irritability without inviting the additional problems of food-borne illness. And I have had a few really horrible bouts of food poisoning. Ever been sick every 45 minutes on a 12 hour plane flight? No? I have.

Not. A. Good. Time.

And here is the thing about food poisoning. It is almost never about food that has gone bad, despite my dumping the dim sum. It is almost always about either cross-contamination in the kitchen or food handlers who have not WASHED THEIR HANDS.

All those incidences of toxic spinach and deadly cantaloupe? From workers going to the bathroom in the fields, not washing hands and harvesting their own germs along with the produce. Which is exactly what you do on a smaller scale if you don’t scrub up after you go potty. All that salmonella? One bad bird on a butcher’s board, and every bird after is tainted.

We know that eating out, things are out of your control, you go to places you trust and hope for the best. But you eat the majority of your meals at YOUR HOUSE. That’s right. Your best chance of getting food poisoning is to not have YOUR kitchen properly maintained, or forgetting to wash YOUR hands before you touch food.

And since it can take food-borne illness up to 48 hours to incubate, that means the sickness you so easily blame on the restaurant you ate at tonight, could have really been the food you prepared yourself last night.

I’m not insane. I don’t expect everyone to keep their kitchens like an operating theater. I certainly don’t. But there are a few simple things you can do to really make a difference.

And let me be clear, your friends NOTICE. You might think nothing of your son’s muddy soccer cleats and the dog’s battered chew toys dumped on your kitchen island, but people who come over see that and think “Hmmm, I think I’ll skip the cupcakes.”. Mary Ann and The Professor might be cherished furry members of your family, but watching them prance out of the litterbox and then take up residence on the cutting board says “No crudites for me, please.”.

And for sure, the one time you and I go to the ladies together and you keep me company while I wash my hands and you don’t so much as wave yours in the vague direction of water, that is the last time I break bread at your house.

I have some really good friends who are terrible cooks. Really REALLY awful. Over or underseasoned veggies, meat the texture of shoe leather, crunchy in the middle potatoes, watery soups and mushy pastas. But I double down on my Prilosec and eat at their tables, because what they make they make with love and effort and while I know the food isn’t going to be delish, I also have faith that it isn’t hazardous to my health. Heartburn I can handle. Its E-coli I’m not so keen on.

So, how do you make sure that you are keeping your family safe and your friends attending your parties? It’s actually not that complicated.

I swear by a simple diluted bleach solution to keep counters, sinks, and cutting boards ready for duty. Just ½ t of chlorine bleach in a squirt bottle full of water. I keep it on hand and give counters a quick spritz and wipe before and after prepping food. If I prep food in my sink, same goes there. It couldn’t be simpler, it’s an easy habit to get into, and it isn’t expensive. Win, win, win.

Kitchen sponges and rags get a run through the dishwasher along with the evening dishes. Not necessarily every day, but at least two or three times a week, and for sure after preparing raw meat or poultry or eggs. Doesn’t damage them, I just pop them in the top rack and let it go. If you don’t have a dishwasher, a minute or two in the microwave will kill any bacteria, and be sure to toss them in the laundry once a week or so.

Cross contamination is your enemy, so wiping up the spilled raw egg from the morning pancake festival, and then using the same sponge to wash the plate and fork or wipe down the cutting board…you can see where the problem lies. Many restaurant kitchens use different color cutting boards for different foods, but despite my diligence, I’m way too lazy to deal with six different colored cutting boards. I keep two or three sponges in rotation and once I use one to wipe anything that had raw meats or poultry or uncooked eggs, I immediately pop it right in the dishwasher so I don’t forget where it has been. Then I just use my bleach water spray on my cutting board, and make sure to grab a clean sponge or paper towel for the wipe-down.

I no longer have pets, but for the eight years I had cats, they had free range of the house….except the kitchen counters. I trained them as kittens with a squirt bottle of plain water (don’t confuse it with your bleach counter spray, please!), anytime they went on the counter, or geared up for the leap, they got a faceful of water. Took less than two weeks of being diligent and I never saw them, or any evidence of them, up there again. If you don’t have the ability to train them, do think about whether you can limit their access to the kitchen when you are not there. And again, if you can’t manage to keep your countertops a food-only zone, your before and after bleach water regimen will keep things safe. Keeping litterboxes far away from the kitchen is also a good idea, regardless.

And finally, there is no substitute for hand washing. With soap. I keep pump bottles of liquid soap in the bathroom and next to the kitchen sink. When cooking, I wash before I start, and in between handling different foods. Doctors say frequent hand washing is the best way to prevent colds and flu as well, so there are other health benefits!

I’m not going to get into things like safe cooking temperatures; you know not to give your guests medium rare chicken. But simple things like keeping your cooking surfaces and cleaning tools and hands clean, they will keep you and your family safe, and your guests asking for seconds.

I also highly recommend the app Still Tasty to help you figure out if what you are about to eat is in the safe zone. It totally validates my disposal of the leftover take-out. (Every time.)

Having the gang over this weekend, and testing a couple new recipes, so stay tuned for (hopefully) some tasty new recipes!

Yours in Good Taste,

The Polymath

Pudding Savant

2011-12-06T13:28:00.000-06:00

Hello Chickens! Just a quick note today because I have a new recipe that just. Won't. Wait.

Remember the Dark Chocolate Pudding from this post? Which, if you have made, you love me, and if you have not, you should.

Well, now that I've got the chocolate thing down, it seemed time to branch out into caramel...

Oh yeah. I went there.

You're welcome.

Deep Caramel Pudding

1 qt half and half
1 T vanilla
1/2 t salt
1 16 oz jar of high quality caramel or dulce de leche or cajeta
7 T corn starch

Sift the cornstarch into the half and half. Whisk in salt and vanilla. Put in saucepan over medium heat and add dulce de leche or caramel. Whisk until caramel melts into the mixture, and then cook, stirring, until the pudding thickens to your desired consistency. Pour into six ramekins and cover with plastic wrap touching the surface so that no skin forms. Serve chilled with a sprinkle of coarse sea salt and unsweetened whipped cream. Also good wish crushed pretzels or chopped salted marcona almonds on top.

For serving more than 6, I recommend making one batch of the dark chocolate and one of the caramel and pouring them side by side into the ramekins for two taste sensations in one dessert.

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Contest Winner!

2011-11-28T10:47:00.000-06:00

Congratulations to Suzanne who has won the Orka silicone oven mitt! Suzanne, send me an e-mail at staceyballisinfo (at) gmail dot com and I will get you your prize in time for the next batch of holiday cookies.

I hope all my chickens had a great holiday, it was a wonderful weekend here and I was sad to see it end.

But I also tried a new trick that I HAVE to share with you all.

As you know, my dear friend Chef Denise, who owns the extraordinary Flavour Cooking School in Forest Park, IL is often a source of terrific cooking tips and tricks for me. Recently she had talked about a method of cooking Prime Rib that intrigued me. She said the best way to get perfect medium rare without well-done edges or that inch of gray around the outside of the slices, was to slow cook the roast at 200 degrees.

So when we knew that two of our favorite people were coming over for a post-Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday night, prime rib seemed the perfect antidote to a weekend of turkey.

I bought a 3 rib roast, let it come to room temp, and seasoned it well with kosher salt and ground grains of paradise. Then I seared it on all sides in a very hot pan with a little canola oil. And popped it in the oven at 200 degrees. The time will vary depending on the size of your roast, but mine was about 7 lbs and the roast was finished in about 4 hours. The best thing to do is to use a leave-in electronic thermometer. When the roast hits 125 internal degrees, take it out of the oven and tent it with foil. It will come up to around 130-135 on its own outside of the oven. You have to let it rest for 30 minutes before carving so that the juices redistribute throughout the meat.

The roast was tender, juicy, and perfectly pink from edge to edge. Not to mention delicious. I will never make a rib roast any other way from now on, thanks Chef D!

If you have a holiday dinner party coming up, I can't recommend this method more.

Anyone else with a new tip or technique to share?

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Happy Thanksgiving with Contest and Recipe

2011-11-22T11:38:00.001-06:00

Hello Chickens! I hope that you are all gearing up for a very happy day of celebration. If any of you are still in any way panicked about the big day, and in need of assistance, I turn your attention to last year's post which may be helpful... A Polymath Thanksgiving Primer

This year, instead of a traditional Thanksgiving recipe, I wanted to share one that was inspired by my godmother Susan and Charming Suitor. She is the queen of chocolate, and the darker the better. He is the king of all pudding. Susan doesn't want any nuts or fruits or flotsam and jetsam to mar perfect chocolatey goodness, and CS will eschew all manner of cakes, pies, and other baked sweets if he can just have pudding.

CS and I were having a couple of pals over for Monday night dinner, and I needed a dessert that was quick and easy. I had spotted a Jean-Georges recipe for a dark chocolate pudding a week or so back, and I thought it would be the perfect thing to play with. A few little tweaks and we have a very grownup pudding that is dark enough to make Susan smile. And a handy thing if you need a last minute dessert for your holiday:

Super Dark Chocolate Pudding for Susan and CS

adapted from Jean-Georges Vongrichten

½ c granulated sugar
½ c Hershey’s Special Dark cocoa powder (or the darkest cocoa powder you can find, Ghiradelli works too)
5 T cornstarch
Pinch salt
1 t instant espresso powder
1 qt half and half
3.5 oz dark chocolate, (85-90 % cacao) chopped
1 t vanilla

Sift all dry ingredients together. Whisk in the half and half and strain into a large saucepan, just to catch any possible lumps, because you want the smoothest pudding ever. Cook over medium heat, whisking upretty constantly, until the pudding starts to bubble and thicken, about 4 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in chocolate and vanilla. Whisk until chocolate is fully melted and incorporated. Pour into a large bowl or into six ramekins and cover with plastic wrap, preferably with the wrap touching the top of the pudding so that a skin does not form. Chill until set, about 4 hours for a single bowl, 2 hours for individual servings. Serve with very lightly sweetened whipped cream, and maybe a couple little shortbread cookies on the side.

It's been a while since we had a giveaway, so I thought we would have a small one in honor of the holiday.

Share your best Thanksgiving tip or recipe in the comments section, and I will choose one at random to receive this fabulous Orka 11 inch Silicone Oven Mitt:

So, share with the class between now and 11:59PM on Sunday night, and I will announce the winner on Monday.

And seriously? Make the pudding. You can thank me later.

Wishing you all a wonderful holiday. Know that I am always thankful for you.

Yours in Gratitude and Good Taste,

The Polymath

Cocktail Party, Nu?

2011-10-26T16:24:00.000-05:00

Hello, Chickens! I hope Fall is as glorious where you are as it is here in Chicago. I love the brisk air, the falling leaves, the football...well, some of the football, I am a Bears fan after all, which is ruinous at best.

Remember last fall when I catered this party for my Dad? It went very well, and all the staff and board members had a terrific time.

So this year he asked me to do it again. Since we had gone full on gourmet for last year, this year I wanted to do something where I could riff on a theme. And being a Jewish organization, what could be more fun than cocktail party versions of items you might find at a classic Jewish delicatessen?

Charming Suitor was a huge help, brainstorming with me about what items would be delicious and how to miniaturize and elevate them to their highest potential. Here was the result:

Some tips I've shared before....I like to stick with white and wood for serving pieces. They show off the food to its best advantage, and pieces are usually readily available for very little money at places like Target and IKEA and Home Goods.

For a theme party like this one, pick your theme, make a list of all the foods you associate with that theme, and then think of how to make a one or two-bite version. Be sure to remember dietary restrictions, and make sure you have options for vegetarians besides crudites.

Mini Matzo Ball Soup in Espresso Cups

These were dead easy. Made my regular matzo ball recipe, but made the balls with a scant 1/4 tsp. of batter. They were about the size of a marble once cooked. I skewered each one with a blanched sliceof baby carrot and put the skewers in espresso cups filled with chicken consomme. Guests ate the matzo balls and carrot off the skewer and then drank the soup.

Borscht Bites

Borscht is a classic, and beets are in season. I took red and golden beets, tossed with olive oil, salt, pepper and orange zest and wrapped them tightly in foil. Then I roasted them at 400 for about 40 minutes until they were tender. I peeled and cooled them, cut into cubes and topped with a squirt of sour cream seasoned with salt and lemon zest, and a sprinkle of chopped chives.

Deviled Eggs with Chicken Bacon

I made a simple deviled egg, and topped with a piece of crispy chicken skin. I just asked my butcher for some pieces of skin, they should have this from making all those boneless skinless breasts everyone loves. I took the skins, and laid them on a parchment-lined sheet pan, and seasoned with salt and pepper. I put another piece of parchment on top and weighted it down with a second sheet pan. Bake at 400 for about 20-30 minutes until the fat is fully rendered and the skin is golden brown and crispy. Let cool and break into small pieces for garnishing your eggs. Will store for a couple of days in a ziploc bag.

White Anchovy Herring Canapes

I'm not a huge fan of herring, but it is classic. So I updated it by using a marinated white anchovy instead. Rounds of basic cocktail rye topped with a sour cream horseradish sauce, then a half an anchovy, a little slice of pickled red onion, and a sprig of dill.

Mini Chicago Hot Dog Buffet

No Chicago deli is complete without Vienna Beef dogs on a soft bun "dragged thru the garden" on the menu. And lucky for me, they make a miniature version, just three inches long! Your favorite bakery can custom make the rolls, or you can cut regular sized ones in half. The toppings for a Chicago Dog are: Yellow mustard (preferably Plochmans), neon green pickle relish, chopped onions, tomato slices, pickle spear, sport peppers, and a sprinkle of celery salt. Sauerkraut is an acceptable addition. Ketchup is strictly forbidden for anyone over the age of 8. To keep with the mini theme, I used cherry tomatoes and small pickles. The condiment holder is actually a bar tray used for drink garnishes, and I got it at a local restaurant supply house.

Mini Noodle Kugels wth Apple Compote and Creme Fraiche

Sweet noodle kugel is a favorite at all the holidays, my recipe is here. To make a smaller version, I swapped out extra fine egg noodles for the usual wide versions, and baked in a mini muffin tin. Instead of the traditional toppings of apple sauce and sour cream, I upgraded to an apple compote I made by cooking a small dice of apples in a little bit of butter and a sprinkle of cinnamon until the juices caramelized. A little creme fraiche and these one-bite wonders disappeared quickly!

Chicken Liver Mousse

I can't do the organ meats, remember? But chopped liver is as deli as can be. Lucky for me, Charming Suitor came to the rescue with this fluffy and delicious chicken liver mousse. He sauteed the livers in chicken fat with shallots, and then pureed them with some cream until smooth. He seasoned to taste with salt and pepper and then let the puree chill completely. He whipped some more cream to soft peaks and folded the chilled mousse into the cream for a very light texture. I scooped the mousse onto Chinese spoons and topped with fried shallots and chopped chives.

Mini Bagels

I halved mini sesame and poppyseed bagels and gave them a generous schmear of chive cream cheese. A slice of lox and sprig of dill, and DIY garnishes of sliced baby cucumber, sliced cherry tomato, and capers.

Hummus and Crudites, Pumpernickel Pretzels and Beef Sticks

You always need some easy nibbly bits at a party like this. I filled in the buffet with hummus, with baby zucchini, baby carrots and snap peas for dipping, as well as beef salami sticks and fabulous Pumpernickel Onion Pretzel twists from Snyder's, which were as big a hit as anything I cooked!

So, what are your favorite foods that you have miniaturized for a cocktail party? Do share with the class....

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Interview

2011-09-22T16:37:00.000-05:00

The fabulous Amy Sue Nathan over at Women's Fiction Writers did an interview with me a while back, and it went live today!

Check it out, and be sure to pop around and check out the rest of the site while you are there!

http://womensfictionwriters.wordpress.com/2011/09/21/womens-fiction-author-stacey-ballis-says-dont-jump-on-the-bandwagon-do-write-the-book-of-your-heart

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Salad Bar Minestrone

2011-09-12T12:14:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Fall, Chickens! Didn't that just sneak right up on all of us? I could have sworn I was just getting the hang of summer.

But football is on the agenda, kids are back in school, and crisp has returned to the vocabularies of weatherpeople everywhere. Which means that it is time to think about cooking again.

I never really think about what I do in the summer as cooking. It feels more like assembling. And grilling, of course. And don't get me wrong, I love summer foods...all the thrown together salads with the abundance of available and interesting produce. Endless ears of local sweet corn. Charming Suitor and I have been having a passionate love affair with steamed artichokes dunked in peppery dijon vinaigrette this summer, sometimes tucking into the succulent leaves and meaty hearts as our whole dinner. Delicious and virtuous, such a rare combination. CS is a serious grill master, and this summer has been filled with perfectly juicy chops and steaks and burgers.

But Fall....Fall is for COOKING. Long braises, hearty stews, crispy skinned roasts. The kind of cooking that fills the house with amazing smells that make the neighbors jealous.

I love soup. All kinds of soups. One of the things I love about them, as someone who is always trying to be healthier and manage some weight loss, is that they are filling and can be very good for you if you stay away from chowders and cream soups. If there is a vegetable soup on the menu, I'll always pick that over a salad to start, because it fills me up better and helps me deal with my entree in moderation.

Since I work from home, lunch is often a bowl of soup and maybe a chunk of cheese and piece of fruit. One of my favorite soups to make is what I call my salad bar minestrone. It plays into my very lazy nature by providing all my ingredients pre-prepped and cleaned and ready for the pot. It also means I don't end up with a fridge full of half-used veggies that I have to figure out a use for. It comes together in about a half an hour, and will feed CS and I lunches for a week, but freezes beautifully if you live alone or don't like to eat the same thing several times in a row.

This is a technique more than a recipe, so alter for your personal taste! And if you find a combo you love, share with the class.

Salad Bar Minestrone

8 c assorted veggies from your salad bar, in fairly equal proportions: I use the following, but you should use what you like. (I don’t like mushrooms in this soup, they make the broth sort of muddy)

Shredded red cabbage

                Kale
                Carrots
                Celery
                Chickpeas
                Red onion
                Zucchini and/or Yellow Squash
                Broccoli and/or Cauliflower

1 jar of your favorite marinara or tomato basil sauce, I love Rao’s

1 large russet potato, peeled and cubed
½ - 3/4 c small whole wheat pasta, like ditalini or orzo
¼ c flat leaf parsley, chopped
Pinch of red pepper flakes (optional)
Salt and pepper to taste
Water or stock

Dump all of the veggies excluding the potato into a large stock pot. Add the jar of marinara and enough water (or good chicken or vegetable stock if you have it on hand) to cover the veggies by about 2 inches. Stir well, and bring to a simmer over medium high heat. When the soup is bubbling, add the red pepper flakes if you like, and salt and pepper to taste. When the broth tastes great, add the pasta and potato and cook for another 12-15 minutes. When the potato and pasta are cooked through, taste again for seasoning, stir in the parsley, and let cool before storing in fridge or freezer.

If you have any leftover cooked veggies in your fridge, you can add them when you add the pasta and potato.

Use what you have! No jarred pasta sauce? Grab a large can of crushed tomatoes. Have some fresh herbs on hand, or some slightly sad wilty veggies in the crisper? Use ‘em up. Prefer a grain to pasta? Try barley or farro or brown rice. Want it soupier? Add more water or stock. Heartier and more stewlike, add less. Have some pesto around? Stir it in. The most important ingredient is fluidity, let your taste buds and mood guide you.

Yours in Good Taste,

The Polymath

We Remember Them

2011-09-11T09:48:00.000-05:00

On this tenth anniversary of the tragedy of 9/11, I think the simplest offerings are the best. We all have our personal stories of where we were and what we did and who we lost on an individual level and what we lost as a nation.

I hope that on this anniversary you each honor the day in your own way, in whatever way is most meaningful to you. I hope you are with people you love, and that you hold them close. I pray that you take the time to remember in these times of political division that we are greater together and that tolerance of each other, and our diversities is our best hope for a unified and peaceful future. I hope your day includes not only a moment of reflection on behalf of the lives lost, both on the day itself and in the wars that day has spawned, but that you also take time to breathe, to laugh, to love as hard as you can in these all too brief moments we are fortunate to have.

And because I can say it no better, I wish us all peace.

A traditional Jewish prayer is often offered on days like this. I think it says everything in my heart.

At the rising of the sun and at its going down We remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and the chill of winter We remember them.
At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring We remember them.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer We remember them.
At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn We remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live; for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart We remember them.
When we have joy we crave to share We remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make We remember them.
When we have achievements that are based on theirs We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live; for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.
Yours fondly,
Stacey

Outside the Box

2011-08-25T10:07:00.000-05:00

Just a quickie today to say hi and share a thought…

Charming Suitor and I are finally starting to see a light at the end of the Purge and Merge tunnel, and for the first time, we’re reasonably sure it isn’t a train! We’ve been working very hard to get this place feeling like us, and slllloooooooowly the apartment is becoming truly ours.

The floors have been covered in CS’s beautiful rugs. We’ve got him set up with a cozy man-cave where he can rock out on his bass, or watch the eleventh basketball game of the day when I can’t take one more free throw. The little knick knacks and treasures we picked up on our honeymoon are displayed proudly. Every room is slowly being integrated, so that we are fully blended. Having our “peanut butter in my chocolate, chocolate in my peanut butter” moments if you will.

I know that many of you are facing the same dilemmas we have when you decide to co-habitate with your sweetie. And I know I have shared before some of my philosophies about making that process easier emotionally. So today I wanted to share one of the smaller touches and, I think, most interesting of the discoveries we’ve made as it relates to getting your décor just right.

I’ve never been an art collector. In this apartment, where the walls are big and the ceilings high, I always went with more of a “random crap hung on the walls to take up space” than “thoughtfully chosen works of art to display”. But CS went to art school, and has been collecting since he was a pup, we have dear friends who are artists whose work we love, and we love to support them. For an engagement gift, I gave CS a piece done by one of our best friends that he had commented upon when we were at his studio. So all of my EBay treasures were pretty easy to take down to make room for actual real art by real artists. Except for one room.

The dining room. Where all the walls were adorned with a collection of antique gilded Florentine wooden trays. These traditional Italian decorative pieces are hand painted, and I’ve been collecting them for over 20 years. I loved how the gold would pick up the lighting in the room, especially candlelight, when I had dinner parties. They are all shapes and sizes and interesting patterns. People always commented on them. But there was no way to give up four optimal art walls for the sake of my trays; it truly would not have made sense. I figured it was just going to be one of those sacrifices, and looked to the heavens for strength. Where I was faced with my ceiling. The one with the rafters that make 20 inset open squares.

Oh no, she didn’t.

OH YES SHE DID!

CS and I picked the 20 best of the collection (feel free to insert mocking/threatening of Hoarders appearance here, and no, I will not tell you how many didn’t make the cut) and found some appropriate mounting brackets. It nearly put my poor hubs in traction getting them installed. But we both LOVE the way they look up there, it is a really wonderful design feature, and while there was a brief moment of worry when we were getting ready to begin the project, after the first one went up we knew we were on to something.

So my recommendation is to be willing to think outside the box, repurpose, reimagine, and while you may lose some beloved décor items in order to keep your beloved happy, you might be surprised at what you can keep if you are willing to move it somewhere unexpected. Even the ceiling!

What are some of your special decorating touches that you just love?

Yours in Good Taste,

The Polymath

Etiquette Lesson for a Hot Day

2011-07-21T10:26:00.000-05:00

Hello Chickens! I've missed you. Are you sweltering? Your Polymath is fairly melted, and has been quite busy this summer, as you may have gathered.

Some basic updates to report since last we spoke, I am almost finished with the new book! It is due August 1, and I have been typing furiously to ensure that it is completed on time and is as good as I can make it for a first draft. It is a piece I am ENORMOUSLY excited about, and I think you are all going to love it....next July. It has been somewhat hectic, what with getting the new book sold in November, getting engaged in December, married May 1, and honeymoon in June and July, but I have persevered and am frankly delighted with the results so far.

Charming Suitor and I have returned from our glorious two-week honeymoon in France, which exceeded every expectation. While we were gone our nest was getting re-feathered. My place had not been painted since dinosaurs ruled the earth. So we wanted to be sure to spruce it up a bit in honor of the nuptials and as part of the purging and merging. You do not really know how badly someplace needs painting until you remove things that have been on the wall for nearly two decades.

SO GROSS!!!!

Of course, painting a whole place requires that you remove all flotsam and jetsam and move all your furnishings, and little fairies do not show up to put it all back. So while the painting is done, and looks wonderful, our house looks like it was hit by a tornado. It was our every intention to put it back together quickly, but the heat has stymied us. This is an old building with old electrical. We have never been able to run more than one air conditioner in one room at one time without blowing the fuses. The place is very large. One little window unit at a time REALLY doesn't cut it. Especially for poor CS, who gave up his own fabulous house (WITH CENTRAL AIR) to move in here. The man is a saint, and I thank the universe every day for his tolerance and patience.

The areas we need to put back together? Are eleventy million degrees. We can't cook, the kitchen is too hot. We decided we needed to make an investment in our future and our comfort and our sanity. So as of yesterday, a fabulous electrician has doubled the size of our panel, and put designated AC lines in the kitchen, dining room, and a honking 220V line in the living room. Home Depot helped us acquire a couple new units, 18,000 BTUs for the living room alone, and by tonight, this place should be cool and inviting. Except for the tornado part, but we are assuming that once we don't get heat stroke walking around the house, putting it back together will be an easier process. You will get some pics when it is completed, I promise. You will not get pics now because my mother would be horrified.

In other news, I did want to address something that happened earlier today. I got an e-mail from my agent forwarding an e-mail from a reader, which had also been CCd to my publicist.

Was this a business related e-mail that my agent and publicist should have received? A request for review copies or a personal appearance or someone wanting to inquire about the stage adaptation rights to one of my books?

Nope.

Someone wanted to let me know that some of the words in one of my books were not her favorites.

I was going to leave the response just for her, but thought I would share, since I hope it is illuminating.

Her e-mail read as follows:

Hi Stacey ~

The space you leave for sending you an email directly is very limited, maybe intentionally!? Really not room to write more than a sentence or two at the most.

I just finished "Room for Improvement" and found it lots of fun. Even though I'm a woman in her 50's -- I still love partying, men, and home improvement shows.

I do have a couple complaints that I've seen addressed by other readers too in their reviews. I am not a naive prude but I find the word c**t to be extremely crass and unnecessary and know this is an opinion pretty much shared universally. I also don't mind a f**k (literally and figuratively) on but I think you had a few more f bombs than necessary. But, even these aren't big issues, what I really found annoying and aggravating was your excessive alliteration. :) I even consider myself a fan of alliteration but I felt in doing this every few pages it was actually over the top, distracting and bothersome; I found myself underlining and counting them. Just curious as to why you did this? It was way too often to not have been a conscious decision. Was it intended to be humorous? Or to emphasize? Or ? ? ? Do you use excessive alliteration in all of your books? It would actually be easier if you didn't because it's got to be very time consuming to look up all of the appropriate adjectives that start with that particular letter.

Please don't be offended by this complaint. Whenever I have an issue I email the author. I don't know if my noticing all errors in writing is a blessing or a curse, but I know I can't help myself. Yours weren't even errors just suggestions for improvement. I've found far worse things -- like on one page having someone from Wisconsin and then a few pages later from Iowa or having a character page a doctor on the golf course because she's in labor but it's in the middle of the winter in a cold, snowy state where even the biggest golf fanatics don't golf in the winter.

Thanks for your time. I look forward to your reply.

Susan*

Let's look at this for just a moment, may we? From an etiquette standpoint, and for the edification of us all when it comes to reaching out to a stranger? And before we begin, let me just say that I genuinely love when readers get in touch, it makes my day. And even people who write in to say that a subject matter made them uncomfortable, or a theme didn't speak to them, or a character seemed to do things out of sync with the story....I really do like hearing about such things, since any writer is a work in progress and thoughtful critique can be helpful to hear. But this particular missive hit a bunch of my hot buttons, so I needed to vent to my Chickens.

Number one, she sent this to my agent and publicist, whose contact information is on my website for business purposes, because she believed that the small box provided on the contact page would not be able to accomodate the enormity of her message. But here is the thing about those boxes. You aren't necessarily limited in terms of volume, and had she just typed her message there, she would have found that the contact box on my website has no limits, her whole note would have fit without a problem.

For readers out there who notice that there are contact people listed on websites, you should read the fine print and see if your desire to reach out can find the right person. On MY website it says to contact my agent for film, television or translation rights, and to contact my publicist for interview or personal appearance requests, or press kits. In neither place does it say "or any random idea you would like them to take time out of their busy schedules to forward along to the author". Again, you have been provided with a perfectly acceptable method of direct contact for me, using it would be lovely.

Number two, in criticizing my use of the "f bomb" she felt it necessary to inform me of her literal and figurative love of "a f**k". TMI, people, TMI. If it isn't a piece of information you would share with your kid's kindergarten teacher, don't tell me. I have received MUCH personal information from readers and NONE of it is any of my business. (Also? If you must write to me and tell me about the steamy affair you have been having for years with your boss, please do not send it from your WORK e-mail with your full signature at the bottom, because now I know where you work, and can easily find out who your boss is, and in this economy, blackmail is beginning to look like a good place for career expansion.)

Number three, she presumes that in order to use alliteration, I would be spending a lot of time "looking up" adjectives that begin with a certain letter. Let me be clear. I do this for a living. Words are quite literally my business. I know enough of them to not have to peruse the dictionary for the ones I need. I'm not saying, I'm just saying. (We'll get back to word choice in a moment.)

Number four, she asks me not to be offended by her complaint. (Which, for the record, I'm not, it takes much more to offend me.) But as a general rule, if you have to ask someone to not be offended by something, it usually means you are about to say something offensive. I actually found it sort of hilarious that despite the need to upbraid me for my use of profanity, it was the ALLITERATION that really pissed her off. Which to me was sort of like saying that while you would have really preferred there be fewer people in the gang bang scene in the porno, what you would really like to address is the choice of background music.

Finally, she refers to the personal curse of "noticing all errors" in books. And yet, she wasn't writing to tell me about misspelled words (of which there are a few) or grammatical errors (of which I make many because I spent much of elementary school making fake fingernails with scotch tape and white-out, or smearing glue on my palms to try and peel off in one piece like fake skin, and not so much paying attention to diagramming sentences). She was referring to the use of profanity and alliteration. Which I guess she thinks of as errors, but I think of as artistic choices. Potato, potahto.

At any rate, here was my eventual response to her. I thought I would share.

Susan*-

I wanted to be sure to respond to the e-mail you sent to my agent and publicist. I also wanted to mention for future reference that authors include contact information for those people on their websites so that someone wanting to inquire about purchasing film or television rights to books, or to request interviews or public appearances are able to speak to the appropriate people. As it actually does say specifically on my website where you acquired their e-mail addresses. They are not there to serve as a conduit for readers, and any author would prefer that regular folks wanting to express opinions use the provided form. My form is only small in size on the screen, but is not limited in terms of how much you can type there. If you had just put your note in that box you would have discovered that for yourself.

If you do want to contact other authors in the future, on behalf of all of us, please do not attempt to do it through their agents or publicists, as it is not their job to filter general contact.

I make it a general policy not to address specific complaints people have about my work. Some people love it, some people hate it, some people shift from book to book. My personal feeling is that once the book is published, it doesn’t belong to me anymore, it belongs to my readers, and I can’t tell them what to think or feel as they read. It is never my intention to do anything other than tell a good, compelling, interesting story. It is not my intention to offend or annoy, but I know that those are two very legitimate responses to my work. But at the end of the day, the work must stand on its own, and I don't ever feel the need to defend it to anyone.

I can only say, since you seem to be asking if I used some of the words I used “on purpose”, that as an artist whose medium is words, I do choose mine very carefully. And I choose them because I believe they are appropriate to the story, to the moment, to the character, to the momentum of the action or the cadence of the language. Sometimes I choose them because I think they are funny, or because they might wake up a reader in that moment, or because I like the sound of them. English is a rich and spectacular language, and I, like George Carlin, don’t think that singling out a dozen or so to avoid because they might disturb the delicate sensibilities of a few people is terribly interesting.

You may choose to use whatever words sit most comfortably with you, and I would never dream of criticizing you for NOT using ones that you don’t like. I personally find the words moist, pustule, and engorged personally unpleasant, and therefore refrain from their usage. But others should feel free.

As to whether alliteration is a part of my general bag of tricks, it was specific to that book and that character and is not a part of my other books.

Thank you for reading, I wish you the best.

Stacey

I hope we all can learn some valuable Emily Postesque lessons from poor Susan*, since even when it comes to criticism, there are still proper channels, and good form is always appreciated.

As I have mentioned, the new book is due August 1, and for the sake of the quality of your summer reading pleasure next year, you will of course, I know, bear with me for being somewhat out of pocket. I have a lovely backlog of recipes and tales and will have some pics of the house to share once I meet my deadline.

In the meantime, stay hydrated, check on your elderly family, friends and neighbors, and continue enjoying your summer!

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

*TOTALLY her real name

What I've been doing

2011-05-31T12:17:00.002-05:00

First, we did this

And then we did this

There were these

And a lot of this

And then we went here

And ate this

And we became this

Cutest. Merged Family. Ever.

Now I am frantically working on the new book, which is due August 1 so that I can get it in your hot little hands in July 2012.

More news as I have it.

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Wedding ceremony at the Chicago Symphony Orchestra Club
Flowers by Cornelia McNamara http://www.corneliamcnamara.com/
Pictures by Zhao Photography http://www.zhaophotography.com/
Cake by TipsyCake http://www.tipsycakechicago.com/
Embroidered handkerchiefs by http://www.sewcrazyinchicago.com/
Wedding dinner in the private room at MK http://www.mkchicago.com/
Menus and other custom printing by With Grace http://www.withgraceshop.com/
Dress designed by Mark Botelho, information available upon request

The Wedding Dinner and a Recipe

2011-05-11T11:39:00.001-05:00

When Charming Suitor and I planned our wedding, the one word that kept coming up was intimate. We are both blessed with large extended family, and oodles and oodles of friends, and we knew that we only had two options, a wedding for 50 or a wedding for 350. There would be no way to find anything in between. And since we only had 4 months from engagement to wedding date, not to mention that neither of us wanted a huge unwieldy event, not to mention a limited budget, 50 it was. And we knew right away that we weren't going to do a traditional party. All we wanted was a ceremony, followed by cake and champagne. No dancing, no sit down meal, no receiving line. I kept saying "All Bread, No Circus."

We also knew that we wanted our newly combined family to celebrate later that evening with a truly spectacular meal. After all, food and wine were the things that intially bonded us, and continue to bring us much joy. We cook well and easily together. Even a basic weeknight dinner becomes a delight to prepare and share. Our entertaining sensibilities are in sync, and when we have people over we are a great team.

When CS agreed to turn my place into OUR place, I offered him the back room as a home office. He smiled and said that he didn't want a home office and was delighted for us to go ahead on the Kitchen Library project that New York Penny and I had envisioned and dreamt of.

I never get tired of looking at this room.

When we got engaged, my mom had booked a reservation at one of our favorite restaurants, MK. Michael Kornick's fine dining place has never let us down, I have celebrated birthdays there, entertained out of town guests, and always have had delicious meals and amazing service. It was only a little disappointing, but mostly hilarious when we arrived, having been engaged for less than 20 minutes, to discover the place overrun with firemen. There had been a glitch in the fire system in the kitchen, which had gone off accidentally, spraying the whole kitchen with chemical foam, and rendering the place finished for the night. We walked up the block to Kiki's Bistro for a lovely celebration.

But when we started thinking about our wedding dinner, we returned to MK. They have a private room upstairs, and since we were going to only be 16 for dinner, we decided to book that room so that we could have everyone at one big table.

We knew we wanted a tasting dinner, small plates of wonderful tastes, which would mean going a little off the beaten path for the restaurant. They stepped up immediately, and we had so much fun making all the plans.

The menu, which we were able to work on with dreamy Exec Chef Erick Williams, fell out as follows:

Amuse Bouche: Espresso cup of chilled creamy Spring Pea soup with confit lemon

Salad: Roasted golden and chiogga beets, frisee, orange segments, goat cheese with an orange-walnut vinaigrette

Fish: Seared diver sea scallops on a bed of celery root horseadish puree, with sauteed black trumpet mushrooms and diced celery root and parsley coulis

Pasta: House-made fettucine in a light lemony butter sauce with fresh asparagus, fava beans, and peas with chile and pecorino

Game: Roasted Muscovy Duck Breast over minted artchoke farro with an orange-black pepper duck sauce

Meat: Veal stip loins over creamy polenta, with sauteed tuscan kale, caramelized cippoline onions and saba

Sides: Roasted asparagus with lemon, and sauteed seasonal mushrooms

Desserts: Alternated around the table were two different duos, so that every couple could taste four desserts! Duo 1 was a small vanilla creme brulee and a small lemon tart, and duo 2 was a small chocolate caramel tart with a small banana souffle cake. Everyone was served a tiny 2 oz. vanilla malted milkshake with their dessert.

Since gougeres had been a discussion in our first e-mail exchanges, we requested them in the bread basket, and they accommodated us deliciously. We also asked for 3 non-alcoholic mocktails, since five of our guests were not drinkers, and for them to add hot chocolate to the coffee/tea service options, because Little Sister is a big hot chocolate fan. The whole thing was very personal and very us, and every mouthful was perfect.

Let the festival of delicious begin!

We couldn't have asked for a better evening, our newly merged family all at one table having a very special meal. We want to publically thank the entire team at MK, especially their event coordinator Kate and Chef Williams for making it exceed our not insignificant expectations. We look forward to many more celebrations with them over the years, and plan on having a standing reservation for our anniversaries! (And before you ask, no, we did not get any discounts or special deals because I am writing about them on this blog, in fact, when I send this to them it will be the first they will know of the existence of the blog at all.)

In honor of the meal, I thought I would share a recipe that is near and dear to my heart, Gougeres. Gougeres are a small French cheese puff, very easy to make and addictive to eat. In one of our earliest e-mail exchanges, I asked CS about what he might make for a dinner party, and one of the first things he said was gougeres. Since they are one of my faves, I immediately complimented him on his choice, and it really began our discussion of food and entertaining and travel which has continued to this day.

When he asked me to be his date for New Year's Eve a few weeks later, joining him at the home of Hostess with the Mostest and Big John, two of his dearest friends whom I had yet to meet, I was a little nervous, but excited. He asked HM about the menu, and when he found out her appetizer was going to be a Spicy Tuna tartare, which he already knew was on my No-Fly List, he asked if he could also bring an appetizer. And he made Gougeres, so that I would have something to nibble on. He didn't make a big deal about it, he just quietly made sure I was taken care of, that I would be comfortable. I think that might be the moment I fully realized that I was falling in love with him.

Make these for your family, or your sweetie, or just for yourself. They are little nuggets of love and yummy.

Charming Suitor Gougères

1 cup water
4 tablespoons softened unsalted butter
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, plus extra for sprinkling
1 cup all purpose flour
4 large eggs, at room temperature
6 ounces grated Gruyère, cheddar, emmenthal, or other nutty full-flavored cheese

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees if you plan to make the gougères right away.

Bring water, butter, and 1/2 teaspoon salt to a boil in a small saucepan. Place the flour in the bowl of a mixer, add the boiling water mixture and mix with a paddle, if available (not a whisk), or use a wooden spoon in a bowl. Beat in eggs, one at a time, until the dough is very smooth. Add in the cheese and mix well until dough is thick and cheese has pretty much melted into the dough. Place the dough in a large Ziploc bag. I find this easier than the traditional pastry bag method. You can just cut off the corner of the bag, pipe the gougères, and then throw it away. If you prefer to use a pastry bag, feel free, just use a medium plain tip.

Line 2 large baking sheets with either silicone baking mats or parchment paper, and pipe the dough in small mounds onto them, about 1 inch rounds, leaving an inch and a half of space between them. Sprinkle each with a few flakes of kosher salt, and if you want, some extra grated cheese. Bake 20-25 minutes, until golden brown and puffed about 3 times their original size. Don’t open the oven door for for the first 10-12 minutes or they may deflate upon themselves. They will still be delicious, but not as pretty. Serve and eat IMMEDIATELY! Best when hot out of the oven.

If you want to freeze them to bake later, pipe the gougères a directed, sprinkles them with grated cheese (will help them not stick to each other during storage) and freeze them overnight. You can then store in a bag for when you want them. To serve: Let the frozen gougères thaw at room temperature while you preheat the oven to 350 degrees (about 15-20 minutes). Sprinkle the thawed or refrigerated gougères with salt and bake 25-30 minutes, until golden and puffed.

These invite experimentation, not only with cheese, but also add ins. Try adding a tablespoon of minced fresh herbs to the dough, or crispy bacon bits. Sauteed shallots are delicious, as is cooked fresh corn off the cob. They also invite filling! A suprisingly tasty bite is to make the gougeres with cheddar and pop in a classic sweet and sour meatball. It makes for an amazing one-bite slider.

If you have a recipe of something that bonds you to someone special, share with the class.

Yours in Good Taste,

The Polymath

Little bits of joy

2011-05-04T12:31:00.001-05:00

Hello Chickens! As many of you know, last Sunday, May 1, my Charming Suitor and I said I Do.

Cookin' in the kitchen!

There was a lot of crazy leading up to a perfect weekend of family and friends and love and laughter. In one fell swoop I gained the very special gifts of a husband, another set of parents, a sister and brother, and even nieces! When the wedding pics come back, I will share more, but for now, I wanted to share some of the little details and recommendations that came out of the experience, before they leave my head.

1. GET THESE BAGS: http://mymojuba.com/bride-mojuba/inside-bride

Full disclosure: The creator of these is a longtime friend, and was a wedding planner for years. She meticulously researched the best little "insurance policies" that everyone needs on hand on the big day. Things like a top quality emergency stain remover kit, band aids, clear nail polish...even the things you wouldn't think of, like plastic straws for drinking without smudging lipstick! Jackie's wedding present to Charming Suitor and I were these bags, and we both were SO glad we had them. I had a tiny snag on my dress...in the bag? Tiny scissors, it was gone in a flash without a trace. Had forgotten my "something blue", a cool strand of blue suede peppered with little Turkish eveil eye beads for luck, wound it around my bouquet and we were back on the good luck train. Charming Suitor used his like a briefcase, organizing all the checks to pay vendors, collecting gift envelopes, and keeping his wallet etc. in a safe place. The best gift you can give to a bride or groom, or yourself if your big day is coming up.

2. Flip Video

Someone you know has one. Ask them to tape the ceremony if you aren't hiring a videographer. We are so glad my mom handed hers to one of our friends, because we have been able to share the ceremony with some family and friends who were unable to attend.

3. Don't be afraid to ask for unusual details.

We were able to make the day special and personal by working with our vendors on some details that were special to us. Because the event was so small, and because we are well equipped for entertaining at home, we were able to use our own china, silver, linens and glassware for the reception. It was very cool to see a friend eating our wedding cake off of my great-grandmother's china! We asked the restaurant where we had our wedding dinner to put gougeres in the breadbasket, since they were an early funny bonding thing between CS and I. Everyone will be honest about what they can and can't do for you, but it never hurts to ask.

4. Let go.

In the weeks leading up to the big day everyone around us kept remarking on how calm we were. Our standard response was this: We wanted to be husband and wife. We didn't give a flying fig about being "bride and groom". Of course we wanted the event to go well, for the guests to have a good time, for all the planning to result in events that go off without hitches. But at the end of the day, the promise we made to each other was that the day was a lovely necessary step in getting us to our life together, and not the other way around. So we made a conscious decision not to care about whether the cake fell off the table, or if it rained, or if we flubbed our lines. And it worked. By focusing on the big picture, and making sure that we genuinely felt that if anything went wrong it would be hilarious and not heartbreaking, we could be calm, cool and collected. We had butterflies of excitement, not nervousness. We were able to be fully present in the moment, because we weren't thinking about how the event was moving along. I'm not saying you shouldn't embrace the fun of being the center of attention for a day, we planned the heck out of this wedding weekend, and loved being on the receiving end of such love and warmth. I'm just saying that the day is the "amuse bouche" of your partnership, the tasty little mouthful that starts the meal off right, and that the rest of your lives together is the meat and potatoes.

Any other marrieds with good advice for getting through your big day?

Stay tuned for more details, some in depth discussion of a spectacular wedding dinner, and pics as we get them.

Yours in Good Taste,
Mrs. Polymath

Kitchen Library Tour

2011-04-12T12:37:00.001-05:00

It gives me tremendous pleasure to present to the world, our Kitchen Library. While Charming Suitor and I both know that it will continue to change and develop as we use it, for the moment, we are really enjoying how it has changed our cooking and organization. Monday will be the real test, as we are hosting our first Passover together, and will have fourteen family members around our table. I think it is going to make all the difference.

Let the tour begin!

The view from the door....c'mon in!

Yep, that is our President on my apron. And just enough wine glasses....

Le Creuset, Emile Henry, and cast iron galore.
I love how the colors pop against the chocolate wall!

One of Charming Suitor's beautiful hutches.
And can you see the gorgeous Japanese tea set in the middle on the right?
Just got it from my five extra moms at my bridal tea that they hosted.
My extra sisters gave me the amazing tea box that is sitting on top,
full of really special teas.
My daily afternoon tea break just got REALLY FANCY!!!

Pots and pans and bakeware, oh my!

Can you say small appliances?
The hole is where the rice cooker goes,
it was in use at the time of this photo.

Cookbooks at the ready for inspiration,
and the now-famous not-yet-patented shoe rack pot lid solution!

Found the perfect unobtrusive stepladder,
folds totally flat and the wood matches Charming Suitor's stools.
I wish there was a different way to say that.
It sounds wrong. But you know what I mean.

Charming Suitor's rolling cart zips right out the door if we need a kitchen island,
or serves as a great place for staging equipment.
And I love this rug like it's my job.
I think it makes the whole room feel so luxurious.

The final touch! CS installed a new dimmer switch (he is very handy!) to create mood lighting,
and I surprised him with this Arts and Crafts switchplate, since that is his style.

Hope the project is inspiring to you...there are a couple more features I will be highlighting in the future, especially a certain very special piece of art that we are very excited about. But this is pretty much where we are at for now.

Coming soon...are we crazy enough to keep the momentum going and tackle the whole kitchen? We just might be.

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Kitchen Library Part 3

2011-04-04T23:10:00.001-05:00

One thing that a lot of stuff prompts one to think about is organization. Because if you have a lot of stuff, you had better manage it well or someone is going to nominate you for the next episode of Hoarders.

The Kitchen Library was born of this necessity, and so far, it is even exceeding our dreams. We are still filling it carefully, bringing over carloads of treasures from Charming Suitor's house and making appropriate introductions. His regular Calphalon flirts mercilessly with my nonstick Calphalon. His Le Creuset and my Emile Henry needed to share shelves, so that they can whisper in French and think themselves superior to the rest of the cookware. The Thermomix needed to be in the prime-most-central-easiest-to-grab location, since we use it nearly relentlessly.

Everything was going swimmingly, until the lid issue.

So many lids. Unwieldy, unstackable, clangy lids. Before, I stacked them on their sides in a dishrack like this one...

This worked great when the lids were on an open shelf with nothing over them. They all slotted in and stacked and didn't fall out or roll around, and it was such a good idea that Fine Cooking Magazine published it in the magazine AND the 1001 Best Tips book, AND paid me a whopping $25 for my brilliance.

But all of our open shelves are 96 inches off the floor requiring a stepladder for 63 inch tall me, and are reserved for the lesser-used items like the cotton candy machine and the fondue pots.

And if you wonder why I own a cotton candy machine and no fewer than four fondue pots, then you don't know me at all.

The lids for the copper cookware weren't a problem, as we were keeping them all together on the pot rack, and went with the old-school lid-on-the-handle trick.

So. Much. Glorious. Copper.

Just slip the loop of the lid over the handle of the pot and hang. GENIUS!

But the rest of the lids were out of control. The dishrack wouldn't fit on any of the shelves, none of our newly acquired shelf-organization geegaws could prevent them from rolling off the shelves, we were at a loss.

I looked at the lids. I thought about where we had space to store them. There is a closet in the Kitchen Library with a door. Nothing happening on the door, but it is a nice antique solid wood door, so I couldn't attach anything permanently. But how to utilize the space?

I'm a girl. Specifically a shoe girl. 'Cause shoes? Don't have to fit over my hips.

Light bulb.

Yep. That is your basic $20 18 pair over-the-door shoe rack. The lids side right over the shoe prongs, even the ones that have a pull-type handle just rest on the rail and lean back, secure as anything. Have a smaller lid with a thinner loop? Grab a towel and gently squeeze one of the prongs so that it is narrower. You can also use a wire cutter to split some of the prongs if your spacing is problematic.

This rack is currenly holding 15 lids of various sizes, and there is room for more. In fact, if you don't care about the aesthetics, you can alternate the lids front to back and double the number you can fit. It can go on the inside of a door if you want to hide it away, or on the outside like we have done it here.

Lid management, NOT FAIL!

What are some of your best tips and tricks for organizing....extra points for repurposing items!

Tune in next week for the COMPLETED PROJECT with loads of pics!

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Kitchen Library Part 2

2011-03-30T10:59:00.001-05:00

Progress! We have made such progress!

First, the fabulous M turned the old sad bland off-white room...

Into this festival of delicous!

The room is a deep dark brown that is the exact color of bittersweet chocolate. I swear, I have the weirdest compulsion to want to lick the walls! The ceiling, which you can't see here, we did in a very pale soft dove gray. It turned out exactly as we imagined, and lit a fire under us to keep going.

R&R and Amazing Goddaughter came over to help us move a couple of pieces over from Charming Suitor's house, and to assemble the shelving.

And also for some cuddles with the Wonder Boy.

By the end of the night we were full of chili and beer and lemon tart, and the room was full of...

Shelving and cabinets and island and rug and OH MY!

The liners on the shelves are pewter gray, and the rug is full of deep jewel tones on a cranberry red base, and CS's gorgeous antique hutches keep it from feeling like a warehouse.

Stay tuned to see how it gets filled up!

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Stennifer Does Dallas

2011-03-28T01:23:00.000-05:00

You may all remember back last summer when I was holding a contest connected to the release of my book Good Enough to Eat where the winner got lunch with me and my BFF Jen Lancaster in their hometown.

The winner, Alyson, with her bestie Bertta were very patient with the Stennifer schedule, and finally last week we headed out to Dallas to have our special lunch. We were very lucky on the way there, no delays and an upgrade to Biz Class, making the journey enormously pleasant.

We arrived in the early afternoon to 80 degree sunny weather, a very welcome difference from the gray 30s we've been enjoying in Chicago. We headed to our hotel, the very lovely Warwick Melrose, and got settled, and then shared a quick cheese plate in the bar. I knew I wanted to try a restaurant I had read about, Lucia, and called for a reservation. The message on the voice mail said they were full up for the evening, but in my experience, while travelling, concierges can be your best bet. Our hotel didn't have one. What is a Polymath to do?

Simple. I called the Ritz Carleton and asked for the concierge. Kenny was very helpful, but unable to get us into Lucia. "They have some availability in May..." he offered. "But nothing for tonight. I booked you at Villa O instead. And I have a wonderful place for your lunch tomorrow, Toulouse, a classic French bistro." Thank goodness for Kenny.

Also? Remember to make reservations well in advance if there is a nice place you want to try....otherwise you may not get in, even on a Tuesday. Lucia will have to wait for the next trip.

Once we had fortified ourselves with cheese, and finished mooching off the Ritz concierge service, and after I e-mailed Charming Suitor to ask him to look over the wine lists and send me some recommendations, we grabbed the courtesy car at the hotel, and headed to DryBar.

What on earth is DryBar you may ask? Oxymoronical? Not at all. It is a salon where they only do blow-outs. No cuts, no color, no manis, no pedis. Just shampoo, blow out, and go. Flat fee, with an option to add a scalp massage for an extra ten smackers. Five options of styles. Ipod/Iphone charging docks at every station. Cocktails and little sweet snacks if you want them. GENIUS!

I knew I had wanted to do a little something special for Jen for being my partner in crime on this contest, so I thought we'd go for a fun little hair date.

Shampoo? Glorious. I love when someone else washes my hair. Massage? Yummy. Really made my scalp tingle and got all the airplane knots out of my neck. Blow out? 50/50.

And by 50/50 I mean that I got a fantastic head of shiny Breck girl straight with just the teeniest bit of flip at the ends.

And Jen? Got insane Shirley Temple Sticks Her Finger in a Socket Enormocurls.

Sigh. I know with gifts it is the thought that counts, but when the gift is a spa treatment, it is the execution that matters. Jen learned a valuable lesson...in Chicago when you want volume, ask for Texas hair. In Texas? Don't order the Southern Comfort Blow Out. It will look like your head exploded. For two days.

Oh yeah, she tried to tamp it down, but it was UN-TAMP-ABLE. Welcome to ponytail Jen for the rest of the trip. Ooops.

We headed to dinner, where we sat on the patio which was so lovely for our Chicago bones, ordered a bottle of Chardonnay on CS's rec, which was bright and juicy, and had a dinner that was entirely, um, unmemorable. Except for the green beans, which had so much garlic they were inedible and we sent them back. But we didn't really care, it was perfectly passable, if not spectacular, and it was just so nice to hang outside and drink wine and be together.

It had been a long day, and we hit the rooms as soon as we got back to indulge in some quality PJ time.

Alyson and Bertta picked us up at the hotel the next day, we gave them their giftie bags full of out-of-print books, promotional items, cupcake holders

(couldn't deliver on baked goods, but at least now their cupcakes won't go squishy in their lunch bags),

and some of my favorite teas from Tea Forte.

I packed them in Baggu bags, in Jen approved neon 1980s colors.

We headed to lunch at Toulouse which was just wonderful. All the food was delish, the champagne cocktails and the wine (another CS pick, he is King of the Wine List!), and most importantly, the company and conversation, all so wonderful.

Truly, just magical. I think we all felt like we were old friends catching up. I'm not going to share any other deets, after all, the lunch was just for the four of us, and some things get to be private. But I feel very blessed to have met them both, and suspect we will see them again.

After lingering over desserts, we did have to say goodbye, and headed back to the hotel to grab our gear and hit the airport. This is where things went a little hooey.

First off, Dallas? Um, you need to get your airport in order. Having two lines for security only really makes sense if you also have two people checking IDs, and two Xray machines and two metal detectors. Otherwise what you create is two lines constantly merging into one large f*** of the cluster variety. Seriously.

We suspected that we were unlikely to get upgraded two flights in a row. We did not suspect that our flight would be delayed by over two hours. Had we suspected that, we might not have headed to the airport two hours early in an attempt to get on an earlier flight.

What Dallas airport lacks in security genius, it makes up for with an AWESOME Admiral's Club. But the best AC in the world does not prevent Stennifer Punchiness after four hours. We laughed a lot. We got irritated at the loud celery crunching girl near us. We drank a lot of free orange and lemon flavored water. And finally got on our flight.

Despite that last little snafu due to snow and ice and ick here in Chicago, we got home in one piece, having had a terrific time, both with each other, and our new pals.

It reminded me that no matter what your situation, you should never forget to make time to get away with your BFF now and again. Does the heart good.

The hair? Not so much.

The Ladies Who Lunched

Kitchen Library

2011-03-20T20:25:00.001-05:00

Today was a great day. We met with my very great friend M who, amongst all his many lovely qualities, has been an extraordinary house painting artist for over 20 years. I say artist because M doesn't just come in and slap a new color on the walls. He wants the walls to sing. He repairs the cracks, smooths the rough patches, makes things stronger than they were before. He can guide you on colors and finishes, and which is even more impressive, he is honest about what can and should be done. He doesn't tell you it is a two day job if it is a four day job. Nor does he imply that an easy job is harder than it looks. Craftsman and artisans like M are harder and harder to come by, so if you are lucky enough to have one in your life, treat them well. Don't haggle with them on prices, and don't fight them on the important decisions like choice of paint brand or finish. You will be so much happier in the long run.

We thought that we would start with two key rooms when it came to our fresh new paint, the Kitchen Library, and the room that is going to become Charming Suitor's Dressing Room. The Kitchen Pantry, while showing the natural wear of a room in a 105 year old house that has not been painted in 18 years, is in fairly good shape. Poor Charming Suitor's Dressing Room, however, has a wall in need of major repair before a lick of paint can even be contemplated. Plaster and lathe is a cruel mistress, and time, humidity, steam radiators and badly hung heavy artwork can mean that a wall needs some serious TLC before you can gild it up with a shiny new color. M looked me in the eye and told me so. Told me that he wouldn't just paint it without restoring it first, even if we asked, because it would ultimately cause even more damage to the wall. On the one hand, sad, because I really wanted to make that room fresh and nice for CS before he moved his stuff in, and now he will have to live with it for a while longer. But on the other hand, I love M for protecting my wall, and not letting me make a big mistake.

In anticipation of the painting that is to begin Tuesday, CS and I turned this....

Into THIS:

AREN'T YOU AMAZED AND PROUD? Well, don't be. Meet my new dining room.

YIKES! Good thing we aren't having any dinner parties anytime soon.

But even though the dining room looks like a tornado hit it, knowing that this room

which I have not seen empty since January of 1994, is going to be all smooth and fresh and a sassy new color in three little days makes my heart go all pitter pat.

Anyone else have a major project they are excited about these days?

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

March Madness and No Apologies

2011-03-16T21:09:00.000-05:00

First things first. I am not going to apologize for not posting. Not now, and not ever again. I recently read a piece about this phenomenon that really resonated with me. And the gist of it was this...the contract you and I enter into with each other is that I will write about things that I am passionate about, that interest or upset or amuse me, or provide some sort of interesting content. You will read it when inclined, comment when you are so moved, and understand that this is the relationship. I don't guarantee a certain amount of content any more than you guarantee a certain amount of time spent reading me. I don't want to write out of pressure or from a place of being uninspired any more than you want to read what I might force out of my brain when I am in that place.

I am a professional writer, but not a professional blogger. This site is important to me, and rewards me in all sorts of ways, but it does not support me financially. So there will be times when paying work takes precedence. It makes me feel good to be out here with you all, but it doesn't cuddle or make me tea or have lunch with me or pick me up at the airport. So there will times when Charming Suitor and our families and our friends take precedence.

And sometimes, I? DON'T WANNA.

I tend to forget now and again that I am a grown up, and while there are certain responsibilites that cannot be avoided or put off, there are places where if I don't wanna, I don't haveta.

Mostly? I wanna. Boy how I wanna. I can tell you that in the scheme of things I'd rather be doing this than a whole lot of things. I dream of a day when all I would have to do is write my books and write this blog. And who knows, someday that may become a reality! But for now, there is work, and looking for work, and the piles of everything else. And since I know that the vast majority of my Chickens also have way too much to do and way too few hours in which to do it, and since you are all people of taste and discernment, I think we will just agree that I will write as often as I can when there is something to write about, and you will remember when I am not posting that it is because life happens to all of us. Some of my most favorite bloggers write only once or twice a month....but what they write is compelling and fabulous and I am always glad that they did and I don't think ill of them for not writing more, so why would I assume that it would be any less okay for me?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, how the heck did it get to be MARCH???? Really? With the whole time speeding insanely by, really?

You might think that the crazy round here these days is basketball related, but no, not so much.

What we have here is your basic Holy Moley month of work, more work, wedding plans, travel, health issues, purging and merging, tax prep, and what Charming Suitor and I refer to as "paperwork".

Usually in a relationship, one person is more adept at paperwork than others. For us, paperwork refers to anything logistical. Researching products. Booking airline tickets. Knowing where the Groupon is. Making the dinner reservation. Dealing with sending back the 13 quart Le Creuset with the cracking lid for a new one. Not losing the concert tickets.

CS and I determined early on that in our partnership, I am in charge of paperwork. And getting married is a bucket of paperwork. Insurance to be re-issued and updated. Wills and medical power of attorney and advance directives. Contracts with the various wedding entities. Enormous piles of paperwork, both literal and figurative. And I FREAKING LOVE IT.

My skills in this area are related to my nearly obsessive interest in PLANNING. I love to plan. I love to plan almost more than I love to execute. Did you ever see this commercial?

I am these guys. It is what makes me a good consultant. I can see the big picture, find the way out of the maze, create the road map. I'm a natural problem solver, so I genuinely LIKE to track down the best stuff at the best prices, and figure out which hotel in Paris has a real king sized bed and not two twins shoved together, and who carries a DVD copy of Who's Killing the Great Chefs of Europe, because CS never saw it and it isn't on Netflix. This can sometimes be, um, spectacularly annoying to the people around me. Because I love to plan things RIGHT NOW. It doesn't matter if we do not NEED a plan for months and months, we could talk about all the possibilities TODAY.

My planning is mostly aspirational. When I am planning something, especially something way far away, something not even promised, I am living the fantasy. I'm the crazy girl with the serious plan for how to handle winning eleventy-gajillion dollars in the lottery. I'm always grateful that in the early months of our dating Charming Suitor never caught me surreptitiously measuring his furniture while he was in the bathroom, planning the home I hoped we might make together someday.

In my defense, as much as I love to plan, I am still very much a go with the flow kind of girl, so when plans need to change due to weather, or circumstance, or mood, I am quick to shift...and....wait for it....MAKE A NEW PLAN! Double the planning, double my fun.

Last week, all of these things merged. Monday night CS and I chose to become Dance School Dropouts. We had signed up for a local 8 week class of basic ballroom steps that can be useful at weddings and bars and such. We aren't having a dancing wedding, it was just something different and fun to do together that was also active. We went to two classes. We learned a lot.

We learned that bad teaching is pretty obvious, and really annoying.
We learned that "pointy toed shoes" are the reason for someone stomping upon my feet, and we are sticking with that theory.
We learned that I have something of a problem letting someone else lead, but also that I have more fun when I do.
We learned that when things around us are maddening, our first instinct is to bond together and make each other laugh, and not get snipy or snarky at each other.

We learned that neither of us wanted to continue and since we didn't need this credit to graduate and also did not give a flying fig what anyone else in the class including the incompetant teacher thought of us, we skedaddled, dropped out, and asked for our money back with our heads held high.

We had a plan, and then we changed it. And we didn't apologize. Sounds like March is shaping up just fine.

AAAAHHHHH!

2011-03-07T13:00:00.000-06:00

Yes, Chickens, I am very aware of my absence, and I do apologize most sincerely. To say that I have been busy is beyond understatement. Between regular work and work on the new book and planning a wedding and trying to figure out how Charming Suitor and I are going to shoehorn all of our various belongings into one location in an attractive and organized manner....I am somewhat overwhelmed. Uberwhelmed. Whelmed beyond all reason. (But I do hate to abandon you for such long stretches, so I promise to try and be more diligent, even if it is just to post a quick recipe.)

Lucky for me, all of the things taking up my time are very good problems to have, and it has made me think about how some of what we are going through might serve as inspiration for all of you.

I am very fortunate to inhabit a fairly large apartment. It is in a Victorian building, and having been built in 1906, has a back kitchen area that includes a butler's pantry, a small closet-sized food pantry, and a small room that would have been a maid's bedroom. When I originally moved in, this room was set up as an office, but for the last 10 years it has served primarily as a dumping ground. A huge junk drawer, if you will.

Periodically I would go in and sort and organize and clear the decks, but then life would get away from me, and it was always so convenient to just throw things in there and shut the door.

Which is how you end up with this.

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

I recently watched the show Hoarders for the first time, and it made me feel so much better about that room. Especially since 1) it is just that back room that looks like that, and not the whole house, and B) I know for a fact that there is not a single petrified cat carcass in there.

However, it still makes me crazy.

One of the smartest things Charming Suitor and I did when making decisions about housing, was to really look at our lifestyle. And since we both love to cook and entertain, and since we spend a great deal of time either preparing meals together for ourselves or hosting friends and family, and would like to do even more of that, we made what is to some a surprising decision about that back room.

We are going to make it a kitchen library, to house most of our combined kitchen equipment, all the cookbooks and small appliances and serving pieces. All of the bakeware, and pots and pans....everything that is not food. We realized that while most people might set this room up as a home office, den, or extra guest room, our life doesn't need any of that. We both work on laptops, and don't need a whole designated room to work in. We prefer to hang out together, and the living room works very well for that. We will be putting CS's television in the room we are calling his "dressing room", so that if I am having a desperate need to watch a procedural during March Madness, he has access to a second watching area, but a full-time den would be wasted on us. And that same room already has a comfy day-bed, so on the rare occasion someone is visiting, there is still a designated guest room.

In the same way that I have often recommended to friends who never entertain that they turn their formal dining rooms into office spaces or playrooms or art studios, I highly recommend to all of my Chickens that you not feel hampered by your spaces. Just because the real estate agent called it a sunroom, doesn't mean you can't serve food in it. It might be listed in the classifieds as a three bedroom, but maybe for you it is a one bedroom with a den and a clog dancing room. That guest room might need to be a walk-in closet if you hate having company. Once CS and I embraced the idea of the Kitchen Library, it suddenly became one of the most interesting spaces in the house. We are waiting to get it painted before we tackle the project, which I will keep you posted on as we go along. But we did begin.

I gave two enormous shelving units to my trainer for his new house, and we ordered chrome Metro Shelving to go around the room. Once the room is cleared out and painted, hopefully in a couple of weeks, we will have a Metro Shelving building party with those of our friends who are skilled in these things, and then we will have space in which all of our combined gear can cohabitate happily. Because if you are going to be a Two Kitchenaid Mixer Household, your house better be able to effectively hold two Kitchenaid Mixers!

Some things we have learned in the process we affectionately refer to as the "Purge and Merge", that might be of use to you:

For starters, if you (like me) are merging with someone, and they are making the supreme sacrifice of moving into your space, it is going to be essential that you make room for them, literally and figuratively, physically and emotionally. It is stressful for everyone, but let's be honest, most stressful for the person who is moving in, so if you won the coin toss of whose place to make home, then you have to be willing and eager to make it a happy and comfortable process for your partner. For us, this meant adhereing to the following...

1) The person moving in has to know that anything that is important to them will have a place in the home you are making together. I don't care if it is a couch or a teacup, work around it. You get to stay in your space, but you have to work to make sure that the contents reflect both of you.

2) Remember that the "story" you have told in how you have decorated your space is no longer the most current story, and therefore you don't have to worry about keeping it intact. Just because you searched for five years to find the perfect thing for that little niche doesn't mean that your partner won't have something equally perfect to go there. I don't mean you need to be willing to chuck out your grandmother's antique dining table. But you do need to recognize that not every item in your place is a sacred cow. Tell a new story, choose your battles wisely, and never underestimate the bonding power of giving up and letting go.

3) Family heirlooms ALWAYS trump non-sentimental items, and if by chance you both have heritage items that are fighting for the same space (two china hutches for example) then choose honestly the one that looks best in the space and either store the other, or see if there is another family member who might like to have it in their home for a while. In my family, we either "borrow" or "share". If you "borrow" something, the other party can ask for it back at any time for any reason, and it needs to be returned graciously and quickly. If you "share" something, it belongs to you until you do not want or need it anymore, in which case the original owner gets right of first refusal on taking it back or regifting it to the person of their choice.

4) Be generous. You'd be surprised how gratifying it is to see your personal items find new homes with friends and family. So much nicer than trying to sell stuff on Craigslist or having a yard sale, not to mention easier. Make decisions about what items need to go, and then take a few pics and e-mail your people. Anything that they don't want, donate. Here in Chicago, places like the Howard Brown Health Center's Brown Elephant store will come pick up donated items, and give you a form for your tax deductible donation.

5) Don't lose the plot. The whole point of this move you are making is towards a happy life with someone. Having fights about who has better taste in lamps is just a waste of time. Be willing to focus big picture. This is the place where you will be making memories for years to come, don't start off with sniping and bickering. Listen to each other. And be open to flexibility. Lots and lots of flexibility.

6) Try to have fun! For all of the parts of this process that are a pain in the butt, there are many things that can be enormously enjoyable if you let them.

As much as the whole Kitchen Library project is daunting, and I am tempted to focus on how much there is to do, I try to keep thinking about how much it will change the way Charming Suitor and I cook and entertain together for the better.

I think about the counter space it will create in the kitchen, and the breathing room it will create in the food pantry. I think about having everything organized and accessible, and how much it will make everything from setting the table for a dinner party to getting Tuesday dinner together easier and better. So every part of it which is potentially annoying becomes a postive step towards what will be those new happy memories and moments.

Am I looking forward to going through all those bags and boxes and making sense of them? Not really. And I am fairly sure that Charming Suitor is not terribly excited about the logistics of packing up his entire kitchen and schlepping it over here. But we both agree that once the icky parts are done, it will make us both happy, and we can see what the end result will be.....a lifetime of laughing in the kitchen, and putting out beautiful food for each other and our friends and family.

What about you? Any great tips or tricks to share about merging households? Or funny anecdotes or stories about your own experiences? Do share with the class....

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Happy Valentine's Day and Contest Winners Announced

2011-02-14T01:04:00.001-06:00

There are a million Valentine's posts out there. And I thought about how to put something here. After all, it is an exciting romantic time for Charming Suitor and I...love galore. But frankly, that is just between us, and while I know you are all happy for my happiness, too much information is more than a little gag-inducing. Especially since I remember all too well how much it irked to hear about anyone's snuggly love affair when I was alone on February 14.

And I know that every food blog in the universe is giving you oodles of romantic recipes for two, or sassy recipes for single girls nights.

But do any of you need another one of those recipes today?

Instead, I thought I would share a couple of pieces of Valentine's Advice with you, slightly adapted from my book The Spinster Sisters, and I think a nice reminder for today...

"Let the Valentine’s Day thing go. We know that in general, a day devoted to love and romance seems like a great idea. And on paper, it is. But many of us, not to mention our partners, feel manipulated by the holiday, and the pressure we put on it is the reason.

For some of us, it is The Valentine’s Day Blues, the need to get drunk and bitter with other singles on the fateful day, or to stay home alone and wallow. Putting too much weight on what it means to be alone on the day of hearts and flowers, ignoring all the blessings we do have, not to mention the freedom.

For others it is the overwhelming smothering of the love of the moment. Rare indeed is the partner who really gets into the holiday the way we do, and often their best efforts are just not enough. And which is worse, there is always some friend whose boyfriend or husband or girlfriend or wife is the world’s most romantic perfect person, who creates a Valentine’s experience that cannot be duplicated by our own merely mortal partners.

For those of you who are partnered, take stock of your current inamorata, and if they are a keeper, then let them choose how they want to be about V-Day, and if it doesn't entirely match your enthusiasm (or lack thereof) figure out how to be okay with that. If it is a potential issue for you, talk about it with them a couple of weeks before, just to get on the same page about expectations.

If you are single, create a Valentine’s tradition with a girlfriend or close female relative or best gay boyfriend. Put your energy into looking forward to that tradition, be it a spa afternoon, a museum visit, dinner at a favorite restaurant or another such thing. Homeless shelters don’t just serve meals on Thanksgiving, you know.

Most importantly, give yourself and your partner the Valentine’s gift everyone needs…permission to simply be yourselves, and a little bit Kevlar coated on the most mine-filled day of the year.

ongrats to our contest winners!

At the same time, we should all remember to support our friends, especially single friends, on Valentine’s Day. It’s a great time to send a treat or a card, make that phone call you’ve been putting off. (E-card are free and quick, and sites like http://www.someecards.com/ have hilarious versions for every occasion.)The day hits us all in different ways, but no one is ever sad to be acknowledged by someone. Just remember not to call to regale them with how great your guy did at buying the right present, or how bitter and depressed you are about not having someone to be with. Keep the conversation light and about being happy to know them, and you’ll bring a smile to their day."

Good advice, if I do say so myself!

And now, c

KatieH...you have won the Heat and Dry Dishrack

AND....

Erica Cumberland...you have won the Buffet Heat Lamp!

Ladies: Please e-mail me your shipping addresses at staceyballisinfo (at) gmail (dot) com

For the rest of you, don't forget that Bon Home is still running their promo through Feb. 20, just head over to their website and order either the dishrack or the heat lamp and get an electric wine opener free!

I wish you all a very Happy Valentine's Day, however you choose to celebrate, or not.

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

New restaurant review, an exciting offer with a contest!

2011-02-11T00:36:00.001-06:00

Hello Chickens! I'm back from a brief holiday southerly and I am inspired to do something I have not done in a while....review a restaurant.

I'll start with full disclosure, I was predisposed to like Michy's. Chef Michelle Bernstein has intrigued me ever since I first saw her judging onTop Chef. She never seems to be there for the publicity but really for the food, Tony Bourdain loves her (and we know how I feel about Tony) and she isn't shy about her opinions, demanding the best from the cheftestants. (Hmmm...strong, intelligent, curly-haired Jewish girl who happens to be a chef, wonder why I felt kinship?) And when I watched her kick the almost unbeatable Bobby Flay's butt on Iron Chef? Team Michelle all the way.

I recently had a girlfriend ask me which five women cooks/chefs I would want to have over for a potluck girls night. Julia, 'natch, because she was unapologetic about eating with gusto for pleasure, and always wanted her guests happy. Nigella, because she could call her toothpaste "unctuous" and I would probably want to eat it. MFK Fisher, who made me first want to write about food and who still inspires me to eat thoughtfully. Stephanie Izard, who I've met a couple of times and is sweet and sassy and hilarious, not to mention badass and fearless in the kitchen, and who I would desperately hope would bring her smoked goat pizza. And Michelle, because she and I share a cooking philosophy of taking the ultimate comfort food and elevating it without making it pretentious or fussy. I realized I had only ever actually eaten anything cooked directly by one of these ladies, but I also realized that if you spend enough time cooking and eating and reading, you can tell by the cut of someone's recipes how good they are in the kitchen.

Plus I think the six of us would have a hell of a good time, bolstered by some excellent quaffs rom Charming Suitor's cellar, despite two of us being all, you know, dead.

So when my Mom and Dad returned from a recent trip to Miami with a copy of Michelle's cookbook Cuisine A Latina, inscribed to me and Charming Suitor in honor of our engagement, nothing could have been more exciting.

Until they described the meal.

My parents have had the great good fortune of eating in incredible restaurants all over the world. We live in CHICAGO, for the love of deliciousness. So when they can't stop talking about a meal, they mean bizness.

You'd have thought her White Gazpacho bought my dad a car, that is how much he loved it. My mom couldn't even find adjectives to describe how much they enjoyed the meal. But she could find an adjective to describe the chef, whom they had the pleasure to meet.

"Darling. Just darling."

So when my sister and I knew we were headed to Miami to visit my grandmother for a few days, we knew we wanted to go there for a special night out. My grandmother, based on the descriptions from my parents, couldn't wait, so before we got there, she took my aunt and uncle there for dinner and they too had a very extraordinary meal.

Michy's is on a very nondescript stretch of Biscayne Boulevard, the last place you'd expect to find a restaurant of this caliber. The room is warm and welcoming, small but not close, and evokes both funky Floridian and a contemporary Latino flair. When we arrived, Michelle was there, and was just as my parents had described, genuine, generous, wide honest smile, and a lively spirit. It is always so gratifying for me when someone I have liked and respected from afar (and secretly thought I could be pals with) turns out to exceed who you would want them to be. In fact, it has only really happened three times before... Carol Burnett, Arthur Miller, and Nigella. And has often been the opposite. (not dishing on those, but sad and disappointing to lose admiration for an idol or icon)

My grandmother took the opportunity to tell the chef that she would rather cook for herself six nights a week just so she could go to Michy's on the seventh night. Michelle was very gracious, heading out the door to check in on her other restaurant, but hugged my grandmother like family. And frankly, I'm bound and determined to figure out that we are fourth cousins or something.

Personal gushing aside, you know that at the end of the day I can love you as a person and still not want to eat what you serve me, and you also know that I take the recommendations I make here very seriously, since I know I have to steer you right to keep you reading.

The food?

SPEC-FREAKING-TACULAR.

Everything on the menu can be ordered in half or full portions, so that you can sample and share and create a tasting menu if you want. We ordered the White Gazpacho that had so entranced my dad, the beet salad, the fettucine carbonara, seared halibut, whole yellowtail snapper, and short ribs. The gazpacho is quite simply one of the best things I have ever put in my mouth. EVER. Full stop. Creamy, clean, fresh, tart, with the buttery crunch of Marcona almonds, I am going to make it tonight for Charming Suitor, who very well may propose to me all over again, that is how good it is! (The only thing lacking about the meal was not having him with me to share the experience,and I don't care if that makes me all schmoopy, I really missed him.)

The beet salad was perfectly balanced, the carbonara with crispy proscuitto was rich without being cloying or mouth-coating. The halibut was extraordinary, great crunchy sear giving way to moist delicate flaky fish, on top of a salsify (way underutilzed veg, and one of my faves) and wild mushroom ragout with a bright parsley sauce. Hints of curry warmed the snapper, and the short ribs were like a hug, gorgeous meat candy topped with caramelized root veggies, sitting on top of a parsnip potato puree that frankly I wanted to stick my face in and blow bubbles. You'd not be shocked to know that we managed to find room for the Deep Fried Apple Pie, sanded with sugar, swimming in caramel sauce, and topped with toffee chip ice cream.

My grandmother made a reservation for next week as we were leaving.

If you are going to be in Miami, don't miss it, you can snag reservations on Open Table And while you are there, check out Michelle's other place, Sra. Martinez, which is the first place I'm going next time I'm in Miami. Or maybe second, after I hit Michy's again.

This particular experience reminded me that as much as I love cooking and developing new recipes for you, sometimes we don't want to cook, and often we find ourselves visiting new cities and wanting to know where to have the best time. So I thought I would ask you all to share your fave places to eat out, either in your hometown or on vaca, and to encourage you with a contest!

Remember when I told you all about the cool new stuff from Bon Home? The amazing heat and dry dishrack that Charming Suitor loves so much

and the heat lamp for your buffet table that actually keeps your food hot without drying it out?

Well guess what? I've got one of each to give away to you!

That's right, Chickens, the Bon Home folks agreed to help me tempt you, so post your best mini restaurant review in the comments by 11:59 PM on Sunday Feb. 13, and I will let the random number generator pick two of you to win these fab prizes, and tell you on Monday, a little Valentine from me and Bon Home!

Even better, for the rest of you, Bon Home is currently running a special where you can get a free Electric Wine opener (a $40 value) if you order either the dishrack or the heatlamp before Feb. 20. Click Here to check it out.

Share with the class, where will we find the meals that we won't be able to stop talking about?

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Superbowl Seven Layer Dips

2011-02-03T15:25:00.000-06:00

I'm fascinated by the seven-layer phenomenon. Seven layer cookie bars have long been a fave, but frankly, the traditional seven layer dip does nothing for me. Probably because I'm not a guacamole fan, nor salsa, so I start off uninterested.

thanks thefoodwiz.com, wish I liked this stuff!

But I do love a challenge, so I thought, what would be some other seven layer dips I could dig into?

Here are the results. Feel free to share yours!

Seven Layer Bacon Cheeseburger Dip

1 lb ground beef, cooked until browned and crumbled
1 lb Velveeta
1/2 head iceberg lettuce, shredded very fine
2 tomatoes, seeded and diced
1 lb bacon, cooked crisp and crumbled
1 can French’s fried onions
1 pt sour cream blended with 4 T Dijon mustard and 1 t salt

Melt Velveeta in a large saucepan, and when fully melted, stir in cooked beef. Pour mixture into a large 9x13 pan. If you aren’t serving right away, wrap and transport to your party, and reheat till the cheeseburger mixture is gooey and hot.

Toppings: First sprinkle the tomatoes over the cheeseburger dip, followed by the bacon. Then the sour cream mustard sauce, followed by the lettuce. Top with the French’s fried onions, and serve with the large scoopable Fritos, or hearty pita chips.

Mediterranean Seven Layer Dip

2 large containers hummus
1 package crumbled feta cheese
1 c kalamata olives, chopped
1 tub tzatiki sauce of your choice
1 seedless cucumber, peeled, seeded, and diced
2 tomatoes, seeded and dices
3 scallions, sliced thinly
4 T toasted pine nuts
extra virgin olive oil
zest and juice of one lemon

Spread the hummus in the bottom of your serving dish. Then spread the olives over the hummus, followed by the feta cheese. Toss the cucumber with the lemon zest, and season with salt and pepper. Toss the tomatoes with the scallions, a squeze of lemon juice, a splash of olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Add the tomato scallion mixture to the dish, then the cucumber, then tzatiki sauce. Garnish with toasted pine nuts and a drizzle of olive oil. Serve with pita chips.

Antipasto Dip

2 lbs fresh ricotta
1/2 c grated parmesan
1 lb salami, julienned
1/4 lb prosciutto, cooked until crisp and crumbled
1 jar marinated artichoke hearts, chopped
1/2 c oil cured black olives, pitted and chopped
1 c shredded smoked mozzarella
2 T chopped parsely
2 zucchini, diced
1 jar roasted red peppers, drained and chopped
olive oil
balsamic vinegar
salt and pepper
dried oregano

Saute the zucchini in olive oil, and season with salt and pepper to taste. Set aside to cool. Mix the parmesan, parsley and smoked mozzarella into the ricotta, add a little olive oil to smooth the mixture, and season to taste with salt and pepper. Spread in the bottom of your serving dish. Top with the julienned salami, then the roasted peppers, then artichoke hearts, then zucchini. Drizzle with a little balsamic vinegar and sprinkle with oregano. Top with the olives and crispy prosciutto and serve with crostini made from good Italian bread, or foccacia.

Anyone have a great seven layer dip out there?

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snowpocalypse

2011-02-02T09:56:00.000-06:00

Well Chickens, we are all hunkered down here in Chicago, Charming Suitor is working away in the dining room with the pup, and I am in the living room taking a moment to say hello to you before I get back to work.

My nephew doesn't mind the weather one bit!

The upside of working at home as a writer is that I don't have to battle the insanity of the daily commute, I don't have to keep regular hours, and my office can be wherever my laptop is. The downside is that there really is no excuse to take a snow day.

But there is an excuse to make this pudding...

My brother from another mother Officer K has a birthday tomorrow, so we are all gathering to celebrate. He isn't much of a cake guy, so I usually make him some kind of pudding or mousse dessert. This is a new one, a chocolate adaptation of the famous Magnolia Bakery Banana Pudding. Decadent, but delish.

Chocolate Banana Pudding

1 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk
1 ½ c ice cold water
1 3.4 o package Jello Instant Chocolate Pudding mix
4 ½ c heavy cream
2 boxes Nabisco Famous Chocolate Wafers
4 c sliced bananas (4 small, or 3 medium)
1 ½ T sugar

Beat sweetened condensed milk and water until smooth. Add pudding mix and beat 2 more minutes, cover and refrigerate 3-4 hours or overnight. Whip 3 c of the heavy cream to stiff peaks. Whisk pudding mixture to loosen and then fold pudding mixture into cream.

In a large wide 4-5 quart bowl or a deep glass baking dish, layer 1/3 of the wafers followed by 1/3 of the bananas followed by 1/3 of the pudding mix. Continue to layer the remaining ingredients.

Whip the remaining cream with the sugar to soft peaks and top the pudding with the whipped cream, and chocolate shavings.

Yours in Snowy Good Taste,
The Polymath

Oh Yeah, I do love to be right....

2011-01-27T13:58:00.000-06:00

Charming Suitor and I have a big weekend ahead, which includes a visit from NYC Penny, and a small dinner party with Hostess with the Mostest and Big John. We were also out of LaCroix Pamplemousse, which is like being out of air.

So I set an order with Peapod, the local grocery delivery service, to stock up on everything we needed. I love Peapod, especially for staples and heavy stuff. It frees me up to do small targeted shopping for great produce and meat without having to schlep cases of delicious grapefruit sparkling water. I logged in, filled my cart, set my delivery time for Tuesday, perfect since the fridge was full of slightly wobbly celery and condiments, and we were going to need dinner as well.

Tuesday I waited. And waited. The weather was icky, so I even waited a FULL HOUR after the set delivery time. And then I called. I was polite, but the teensiest bit righteously indignant. I appreciated the weather issue, and that it might be a busy day, but I was disappointed that no one had called to say they would be so late.

The woman was very patient with me as she explained that her people would absolutely call if they were going to be late. On Wednesday. Which is when I had scheduled delivery.

I checked back at my confirmation e-mail. Which clearly showed that I had placed my order for delivery on Wednesday.

Not only did they show up on time the next day, they showed up in the first 15 minutes of my two-hour delivery window. Because that is how they roll.

I? Just felt like a complete dumbass.

And we? Had Thai take out for dinner.

What are your latest wanna-crawl-in-a-hole moments?

Yours in Embarassed Taste,
The Polymath

Contest Winner!

2011-01-25T11:40:00.000-06:00

Fisrt off, CONGRATS to JulesTX for winning the Nordicware Ebelskiver Pan! E-mail me your shipping addy at staceyballisinfo (at) gmail (dot) com and I will get it out to you.

And thank you to all for such great tips, tricks, and products. I love finding out about new stuff! If you missed the post, check out my favorite things and all the advice from all the Chickens who shared theirs! Just CLICK HERE.

More about Me Meme

2011-01-20T23:09:00.002-06:00

I realized that while I usually focus on my favorite kitchen gear or ingredients, I love reading those "About Me" memos in the front of women's mags...what the celeb on the cover can't live without, whats in her purse.

So I thought for a quick Friday post, I would share some of that about me, not a kichen tip among them, and to encourage others, we have a little giveaway!

This is a Nordicware Ebelskiver Pan. Otherwise known as a pan in which to make delicous filled pancakes. People are making easy ebelskiver mixes. Its really just pancake batter, you fill the little divots, wait till they set up a bit, put in some kind of filling, and then top with a little more batter. Then you flip them over, and end up with a sort of spherical pancake full of delicious. And I have one to give away, so comment with at your top three or more products by 11:59PM on Monday January 24, and I will announce the randomly chosen winner on Tuesday!

Here are mine:

Marvis Toothpaste: I love the way this Italian toothpaste tastes, they have five flavors, and the caps never get stuck or gunked up. And my teeth feel squeaky clean, with no weird film. Plus they are pretty. Charming Suitor is a total convert.

Bucket of white washcloths in the bathroom: I buy these at Costco, $9 for two dozen, and keep them rolled up in a container on the back of the toilet, with a small basket next to the sink for the used ones. I use them to wash my face (feels so spa-like to always have a fresh clean white cloth). My guests use them as hand towels when using my powder room, and always comment on what a nice touch it is. I think it is the single most "borrowed" bit of decorating in my house...many of my best buds have adopted it at their houses.

CO Bigelow Mentha Lip Tints Lip Gloss: Light shimmer, sheer color, sweet minty taste, non-goopy, utterly kissable lip glosses. Bare Mint and Pink Mint are my faves.

Green Glass pump bottles from Target: I first saw these at Jen Lancaster's house, and ran right out to buy them. I love the clean styling, they work well, especially for dispensing controlled amounts and are easy to refill. I keep a set next to every sink, one of hand soap and one of hand lotion. But I also keep one filled with my moisturizer (more on that later) and one with my hair gel (more on that too). I have one filled with Almond Oil, which I use for problem areas like feet and elbows, and one with a scented body oil for after the shower. Okay, so I am a little addicted. But they are so useful!

Cetaphil face moisturizer: I love this lightweight cream, it goes on smooth and greaseless, absorbs completely, and which is best, I can get it at Walgreens and don't have to shell out half a kidney to keep my skin supple.

Ouidad Hair Products: I have very thick very naturally curly hair. And until I found this product line, I was frequently a sufferer of frizzy shrubbery head. But this stuff is designed for us curly girls, and it has changed my hair, and not insignificantly, my life. I use the Curl Quencher line, as I need as much moisture as I can get, but they have products for every type of curly hair, and even a line for kids. LOVE.

Aquaphor: This stuff I use in our brutal Chicago winters, especially for hands and feet. Industrial strength, odor free, and it really works.

And finally, Pylones card cases: I first found this store in Paris, and bought one to use as a wallet. They now have outlets all over, as well as online sales, and I think their stuff is fun and affordable. I am one of those people who fills whatever space she is given, making large purses and enormous wallets a danger zone. So I keep my essentials in one of these cases, cards on one side, cash and ID on the other, no extraneous stuff. They have tons of cute patterns.

Your turn! What are your fave products, comment with your top three (or more) and maybe you'll win that Nordicware Ebelskiver Pan!

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

She's Back!

2011-01-14T13:54:00.001-06:00

Apparently if one sends a long rant-y e-mail to the CEO of Comcast, they can get some WICKED customer service.

I am proud to report that after receiving no fewer than four phone calls from different departments, (not to mention one very helpful Twitter guy and my own personal Comcast Diva, Madame Dre)and a visit from my new best buds, Supervisors Michael and Ricardo, I am back in business. Shiny new modem working swimmingly, and my phone and internet working all uninterrupted and stuff. Whoo hoo!

I am so excited I thought I would share a couple of very happy new recipes that I came up with last night....

I mentioned the other day our new organic produce boxes, and the fact that I had two beautiful bunches of Swiss Chard this week. And it was Roasted Chicken night, making the chard a natural side dish.

But as much as I love our standard Roasted Chicken, I wanted to do something a little punchier. Charming Suitor loves cumin, as do I, and I know I don't use it often enough. I remembered a Peruvian grilled chicken breast I had somewhere a few months back, and that I loved the lemony spicyness of it. So I headed to the kitchen to wing a marinade for the chicken, full of the warmth of cumin, garlic, lemon zest and juice, some vinegar for punch.

While it was roasting, filling the house with wonderful heady aromas, I grabbed the chard.

I've most commonly done a quick and simple saute with chard, or the occasional creamy gratin. But I wanted something more toothsome. Charming Suitor is passionate about the chick pea, loves them in salads, so I always have a couple cans around. I love white beans with kale, so why not chard and chickpeas? Turns out, it was a match made in heaven.

A simple batch of caramelized cauliflower florets, toasted to crispy goodness in a cast iron skillet, a bottle of Nebbiolo, and dinner was perfect.

And even better? Totally healthy and good for us. Delicious and virtuous. My favorite combo.

Hope you enjoy!

Peruvian Style Roasted Chicken

3 tablespoons ground cumin
1 1/2 tablespoons garlic powder
2 tablespoons paprika
Zest and juice of one lemon
1 small shallot, grated
Pinch red pepper flakes
½ teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons white vinegar
3 tablespoons white wine
3 tablespoons canola oil

1 (3 to 4 pound) roasting chicken

Mix together the spices, zest, vinegar, wine, lemon juice and oil in a small bowl to form a marinade.

Wash the chicken thoroughly. Rub the marinade all over the inside and outside of the chicken, including under the skin if you can manage. Place the chicken in a large zip top bag and let marinate in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours, but up to overnight.

Remove the chicken from the refrigerator and let come to room temperature while you preheat the oven to 350. Roast breast side down for 30 minutes. Flip breast side up and roast until a thermometer in the thickest part of the thigh registers 160 degrees. Remove from oven, tent with foil and let rest for at least 12-15 minutes.

This is a great marinade for turkey legs or thighs, pork tenderloin, or skirt steaks. If you want, you can cook this on the grill, and if you have a rotisserie, have at it!

Chard and Chickpeas

2 bunches Swiss Chard
1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
2 T olive oil, plus more to finish
1 t Worcestershire sauce
1 T white balsamic vinegar (or white wine vinegar)
½ c chicken stock
Salt and pepper to taste

Separate the stems from the leaves of the chard, and chop the stems into ½ inch slices, and tear the leaves in 1 ½ inch pieces. Heat a skillet over medium high heat and add the oil. When the oil begins to shimmer, add the chickpeas and sauté until they begin to get a little golden and crispy on the outside. Add the chard stems and cook for a minute, then sprinkle the Worcestershire sauce and vinegar over the top and cook until nearly evaporated. Add the chard leaves and toss to combine, and pour the chicken stock over. Continue to sauté until the leaves are cooked, and the stock is mostly gone. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and finish with a drizzle of olive oil.

Anyone have any spontaenous flashes of genius for easy weeknight dishes to share?

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Comcast: They're Dumbtastic

2011-01-13T22:26:00.000-06:00

Its me, your favorite snarky wheel, with yet another customer service bit of venting.

Here is the text of the e-mail I sent today to Brian Roberts, CEO of Comcast, my current cable/internet/phone service provider. My patience with them officially at an end.

Mr. Roberts:

I have been a Comcast customer for years. And let me be clear, I am a Comcast Customer because of all the overpriced and underdelivered services available in my area, Comcast is the lesser of all the evils.

I work from home. I write, I blog, I copywrite for businesses, I consult. As a self-employed person with a home office, nothing is as important as my phone and internet service. NOTHING. I cannot post to my blog without the internet. I cannot speak with clients without a phone. I cannot receive e-mail inquiries or communications from potential clients unless my service works. I cannot research possible freelance jobs, or e-mail companies seeking services.

To say that every day I am without service has a direct negative impact on my livelihood is not an exaggeration.

My service on both phone and internet went out on January 1. After over 35 minutes on hold with your customer service line, I was able to report the problem and schedule a technician.

For the record, could you do SOMETHING about the flipping horrific-turn-my-brain-to-jelly-make-me-all-stabby muzak on that line? Since it is never less than 15-20 minutes of my life I’m losing, it would be preferable to not also want to stick a fork in my ear to make it stop. Also? I know that many questions can be answered online. BUT I CANNOT GET ONLINE BECAUSE YOUR SERVICE IS NOT WORKING, so perhaps you might not want to tell me about it every forty-two seconds.

But I digress.

Tech Number One, we shall call him Lazy, arrived on time, did a cursory check of my equipment inside, went outside for 20 minutes, came back in to tell me that all of my equipment was fine, but that the aerial was having a problem and that he would need to schedule a Line Call, which is a different set of technicians. Once that work was completed in my area, he said, my current equipment set up would be fine and everything would work great, and that it usually took about 48 hours to get the Line Tech out for something like this.

When he left, my modem was flashing weird lights and my phone and internet continued to be kaput.

I called later that afternoon to confirm that the Line Call had been requested, and get an ETA on service restoration. The customer service person asked what my modem was doing, and when I told him, he asked if I would push the standby button on the front. I did. Phone and internet came back. Genius Tech Boy Lazy had neglected to try PUSHING THE BUTTON ON THE FRONT OF THE BOX before he left.

The customer service fellow also told me that I had a bad modem history, and that the modem should have been replaced, especially since I am paying for the fastest possible internet service, and they appear to have installed a modem that DOES NOT ACCOMMODATE THAT SPEED. Awesome. Have been paying for services for over 2 years, with equipment that cannot give me the service I am paying for. Nice.

He proceeded to set up a second tech appt, so that my modem could get replaced. Also? Confirmed that no Line Call had in fact been scheduled.

I had service for nearly 4 hours before it went out again. On advice of the customer service guy, I tried a hard reset of the modem, and was able to restore service, except it still would shut down anywhere from 15 minutes later, to as much as two hours. That’s always fantastic. Nothing to inspire confidence in a client like your phone call getting dropped in the middle of a meeting because the equipment is cranky.

Tech Number Two, we shall call him World Weary, arrived the next day. He replaced the faulty splitter on the inside, went outside and replaced nearly everything, including the place where there were clear animal bites on the wires, and came back in to inform me that Lazy had very obviously not really bothered to look at anything or really do any work, including not placing the Line Call request. World Weary appeared very much to have frequently been to houses where other techs had, to put it loosely, not really done anything. He asked if I had been offered any free services or an inconvenience credit. I had not. WW rolled his eyes and said he would take care of a $20 credit to my account for my troubles. He also said he did agree that a Line Call for the area was necessary, the whole neighborhood was being affected, and that he would put it through as urgent, and that hopefully it would fix everything. He attempted to replace my modem, but was unable to keep it online to speak to the service so he did a hard reset on my current model and left it in place.

My service worked for exactly twelve minutes after he left.

He had given me the direct number for his supervisor so that I could attempt to prevent the brain damage being caused by my having to spend so much time listening to the On Hold music over at 1-800-Comcast.

I called and left a message asking if the Line Call had been scheduled, and if I could get an ETA on when the service would be done.

I never got a call back.

I continued to hard reset my modem every hour or so to try and knock out small chunks of work.

I called and left Supervisor another message. And another. And one on his cell phone. And two on the number of his colleague. Apparently their phones are currently out of service as well.

I called the main number again, tried to ignore the music (really? With the screechy saxophone, REALLY?) and got yet another patient customer service rep. She understands my pain. She sees that it is supposed to be fixed by the next day. She will credit my account for the lost days of service.

Will she credit my account for the LOST INCOME? Not so much.

I am assured that everything will be fine by 1pm the next day. That evening I call back (do not kill self/others while listening to hold music) to find out what happened to my 1pm service will be back. I am told that they are working on it, and will credit me another day of lost service. Will they credit me the lost brain cells? Not possible.

The next day I receive an automated courtesy call saying that they have fixed a problem in my area. I find this hilarious, as I receive this call ON MY CELL PHONE, since my land line IS STILL NOT FUNCTIONAL. I call back. I reiterate, for the millionth time, what my problem is, that I have been without service for 11 days, and that despite the courtesy call about the area problem getting fixed, my problem still exists.

You need a new modem, she says. And then she pauses. That’s funny….you shouldn’t have this modem anyway.

Everyone on the PHONE knows that I have been paying for service I could not receive for 2 years and that no one should have installed this modem on my service, the tech team, they know nothing about this.

I set up a third tech visit so that they can come replace my modem with the right type, and preferably one which functions.

The next night I receive an automated message that they have fixed a problem in my area, and any service calls I have scheduled have conveniently been automatically cancelled on my behalf. Sadly, the problem in my area (mainly my HOUSE) is not at all fixed. I call back. I am starting to mentally write lyrics to the ridiculous music. “weeee are the Comcasts…. Weeeee have elbows and asses….but weeeee don’t know which could be which…..ain’t your life a bitch? Weeeee cannot get you working…..our techs their jobs are shirking….but weeeee don’t really care...if your clients go elsewhere…cause whatever we may be….we’re not as bad as ATT….so you cannot leave us….and you cannot peeve us….la di da di da. Tra la la la la.

Needless to say my original tech appointment? No longer available. But they are happy to credit my account for two more days of non-service.

Tech Number Three, we shall call him Least Useful, arrives at the end of yet another useless work day for me. He arrives, comes inside, informs me that I have the wrong modem (GENIUS) and tells me that he doesn’t have one with him. Because why would the tech bring a new modem to the tech call set up for the specific purpose of REPLACING MY MODEM? He leaves to call around to see where the right modem is. He returns. Apparently NO ONE in the greater Chicagoland area has this precious special modem of which I have need. Someone, he says, will call me to let me know when they can come back to install the right modem.

Tomorrow will be 14 days of no service. I have had to reset my modem twice while writing this note, and hope that it stays working long enough to get this missive out to you.

I would wait eagerly for a response, but at the moment, it’s really hard to reach me.

Stacey Ballis

Apparently I'm not the only one having some issues....

Bruce Wagner designed them a new logo...

Michael Pellegrini posted this:

These people had a rally:

And my personal fave...

Yours in Temporarily Online Good Taste,
The Polymath

Just a Quickie

2011-01-12T10:20:00.000-06:00

I know, its been a while. But I'm back. And I have cake.

Some of you may be asking...really? After 31 days in a row, you just leave us stranded for almost two weeks? To which I say, um, YES. A whole month of daily posting left my brain a little bit barren, and frankly, you wouldn't have much wanted to read anything I would have wanted to say.

Plus, when one decides to get married in four months, while it eliminates the long waiting to say I do, it amps up the wedding planning significantly! We have been very fortunate, and have managed in the past week and a half to identify a date (SOON!), a guest list (TINY!), a location for the ceremony (HISTORIC!), a place to have dinner after (DELICIOUS!), someone to design a dress for me and others to make a chuppah for the ceremony (THANK GOD FOR TALENTED FRIENDS!), and of course, very important for us, the cake (GORGEOUS AND DECADENT!). Working on photogs and flowers this week, and have set a personal goal of having this puppy wrapped up by the end of the month so I can focus on work and the new book and saying hi to you all with regularity.

But despite a solid eleven days of sharklike constant forward movement in what Charming Suitor calls my "Planning Mode", I am actually somewhat refreshed, and thought I would say hello and give you a little quickie.

Not like THAT, a quickie CAKE.

Since both Charming Suitor and I are trying to eat healthier generally, especially now that wedding photos are less than four months away, I recently signed us up for an organic produce service, which drops off a box of goodies once a week. It is sort of like a CSA, but since they aren't limited to what grows on one single farm, the boxes have wide variety in them. I've been finding them very inspiring, since often they contain something I wouldn't have necessarily purchased at the store. Last week we got Kombucha squash, which I turned into a yummy squash risotto. Yesterday's box contained two large bundles of red chard, which I am looking forward to playing with.

It is also very nice to have fresh fruit in the house all the time for snacking, much better options than the holiday cookies or cheese and sausage that were tempting us during our vacation.

But sometimes abundance is problematic, and earlier this week I found myself with five pears on the verge of going over the edge. I also had a friend coming over for tea. Lightning bolt, quick pear cake.

For me, a quick cake is one that uses oil instead of butter, eliminating the creaming aspect of cake baking, and creating a batter that comes together in a flash, usually with just a wooden spoon, less fuss, less muss, more cake.

I hope you'll give this one a try, it is great with pears, but swap out any fruit you like...apples, mangos, stonefruit, I think it is a really versatile recipe.

Pear Cake

2 c flour
2 c sugar
4 eggs
4 c cubed ripe pears (4 large or 5 small)
1 t baking soda
Pinch salt
1 T vanilla
1 t almond extract (opt)
1 c vegetable oil
2 t cinnamon

Preheat oven to 325.

Combine flour, sugar, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl and whisk to lighten and combine. Mix wet ingredients in a seperate bowl, and then add to the dry, blending well. Fold in pear chunks.

Spread into greased 9X13 pan. It wiill look like there is not enough batter. Do not worry. Bake 325 for 40 minutes till skewer comes out clean. Cool before cutting.

Let me know what you think, it is a lovely afternoon snack, and with a scoop of ice cream, a dessert worthy of company.

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 31

2010-12-31T01:21:00.008-06:00

Happy Almost New Year!

Thanks for sticking with me for the whole month...I can't believe we made it.

And frankly, I'm not sure that I ever want to do 31 posts in a row ever again.

But here we are, so I thought for the last post I would talk about resolutions.

I hate the way we traditionally think of resolutions. They are always about somehow finding fault with ourselves and our lives, and trying to promise to fix everything. We resolve to lose weight, exercise more, eat healthy....very easy after a month of holiday binges. But by February we are face down in a vat of mashed potatoes, full of self-loathing and feeling a failure. We resolve to communicate better, to love more or better, to not make mistakes. Well, piffle, I say.

I committed a few years ago to two things....

One, I only make resolutions for the things I feel sure to be successful. I resolve to laugh as much as possible, and to be a source of mirth for those around me. I resolve to tell the people I love them that I love them as often as possible. I resolve to nap and take long hot baths whenever reasonable. Full stop. Because if I achieve those, everything else is either gravy, or at least manageable. This year I resolve to marry my Charming Suitor and take the next step in our happily ever after!

Two, I make resolutions for the people I care about. I resolve that they should find love, fulfilling work, joy. I resolve that they should remain healthy, or overcome health issues. I resolve that they should pursue their dreams, and be open to the universe when it sends them new dreams to dream. I know it sounds more like wishes or prayers, but I prefer to think of them as resolutions. Because dreams and prayers are ephemeral things beyond our control. And while I know I can't control the fates of the people I care about, I feel strongly that if I think of these as resolutions, I will consciously remember to support them over this next year as these things hopefully come to pass.

For you, my dear Chickens, I resolve both to continue to provide the contents of my head, for whatever they are worth, and I also resolve that you shall keep reading them. Agreed?

I wish you all a year filled with all of the things you need, most of the things that you want, and hopefully some stuff you didn't even know you should be wanting.

I also resolve that you shall forgive me for I am now about to take a few days off from the blog so that I can return re-energized. 31 in a row is a lot. Imagine trying to eat all of Baskin Robbin's flavors in a row. Hopefully the month was more Fudge Twirl than Daquiri Ice.

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 30

2010-12-30T01:12:00.004-06:00

thanks flavoralchemy.com

For the past few years, I have spent New Year's with a group of friends that includes R&R and Amazing Goddaughter, Officer K, Chef Denise and JB, and S&J. We are a tight group, we travel together, spend lovely weekends out at the Farm, and generally get up to all sorts of fabulous mischief.

Since Chef Denise and Officer K are ususally working on NYE, and the rest of us are not particularly into being out and about on amateur night, we save our serious celebrating for the 1st. This has proven particularly useful since it allows Charming Suitor and I to do something else for NYE, and not miss out on my existing tradition! Last year, CS and I spent NYE at a lovely small dinner party thrown by his very grand friends, Hostess with the Mostest and Big J. They entertain a great deal, and we are always delighted to be in the mix, fun food, good wine, much laughter. Even though I was a little nervous last year, since CS and I were barely a month into our romance, they made me most welcome and it was a very joyous way to welcome the new year.

Now they are my friends too, and are an excellent addition to the crew, as with all of CS's pals, who are slowly becoming one large gaggle of fun as they get to know my gang! One of the really amazing things about CS is that his friends are all the kinds of people that if I had met them without him, I would have wanted them for my friends regardless. And all of our extended peeps are playing very nicely together, which makes gatherings that much more fun!

This year, CS and I are laying low on NYE, just the two of us and a really nice bottle of bubbly, because on NYD we have invited the slightly expanded gang over (in their pajamas) for a day of football and board games and hearty "day after the night before" food, like chili and my famous mac n cheese.

At one of their recent dinner parties, the Hostess with the Mostess made this fantastic dip, which she got from a pal of hers a while back, called Sweet Pea Guacamole. This made me very happy, since as we know, I am not a big fan of the avocado. I loved the freshness of the dip, and the fact that it is a good healthy option on tables that may be laden with just a wee bit too much bad-for-you fare. I will not share the details of this particular party, other than 10 alleged grown-ups spent several hours laughing till we wept, eating and drinking outrageously, a platinum bob wig was involved (mostly for the guys), two couples lost their cars, and one gent spectacularly broke his nose without ever stopping laughing. Who says we can't party anymore!?

HWTM graciously shared with me, so I am sharing with you. I have also shared the ways that I tweaked it the tiniest bit for my palate in parens, so feel free to adjust for your own taste. Bring it to your own NYD party!

Sweet Pea Guacamole

2 (to 6) T olive oil
2 T fresh lime juice
¼ bunch cilantro, large stems removed (I automatically use flat leaf parsely here because I think cilantro tastes like soap, but hers was mild enough that I didn't care)
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded (I add half at a time, just in case I get a really hot one, since I am a spice wuss)
1-2 cloves garlic
1 lb frozen petite peas, thawed
½ tsp each dried oregano, ground cumin
½ to ¾ tsp salt
Freshly ground pepper and hot sauce to taste
¼ medium red onion, finely minced

You can toss the minced onion in the lime juice and let sit for ten minutes before making this recipe, or you can substitute shallot or scallions for a milder flavor, if you want to temper some of the raw onion bite, otherwise just leave it. If you do, drain the lime juice into your food processor, reserving the onion, (or just put the lime juice directly in the bowl), and add the olive oil, cilantro (or parsley), jalapeno and garlic pulsing until mostly pureed. Add peas, spices and salt, blend until smooth. If you prefer a more velvety texture, add another 2-4 T olive oil while the blade is running. Adjust seasonings. Stir in reserved onion by hand.

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 29

2010-12-29T01:37:00.001-06:00

I'm a game girl.

I like board games and card games and puzzles. Charming Suitor and I love to snuggle up with a crossword, and Little Sister and I kick butt whenever we team up against anyone in almost any game. I like the classics, and the obscure. And I think games night, or games day is a fun way to hang with your family or best pals.

Here are some of my alltime faves:

Rummikub

An old school game I learned at my grandmother's elbow, simple on the surface and easy to learn, but with deep strategy once you know what you are doing.

Milles Bornes

A French card game about driving. It sounds weird, but is enormous fun. Chef Denise and I got up to all sorts of sinister things last time we were in France, and there is a rematch always brewing.

Foodie Fight

The perfect game if you and your gang are gourmands with good memories.

Scattergories

Fun for a group that is clever with words.

Catch Phrase

Hysterical laughter is bound to ensue. Good for large groups.

Cranium

Let's just say that the first time Charming Suitor and I were alone with Little Sister and her own Charming Suitor, we triumphed. LS is still pouting. But it was excellent when Mom and Dad arrived to see two happy couples wiping tears of mirth at their own antics.

What are your favorites for game night?

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 28

2010-12-28T02:09:00.001-06:00

Everyone getting your countdown on yet?

As the year starts to speed to a close, I start to reflect on the year that has gone by, the struggles and blessings, the loved ones lost, the babies born, the many things to be grateful for, and the challenges that call on our strength of spirit.

While a lot of people wait till New Year's Eve for this sort of reflection, I prefer for that day to be all about looking forward, not looking back. Dreaming about the year ahead, the goals and ambitions, the excitement it brings.

So today is the day I look back, and thank the universe for my life. All of it, the good, the bad, the ugly. 2010 was a biggie. I fell in love with the most amazing man on the planet, and he proposed and now we are going to get married! A dear cousin and friend was diagnosed with breast cancer, suffered her surgeries and treatment, and while she still has a little to go, she has now been pronounced cancer free. In her honor, Little Sister took on not only the physical challenge of the Susan Koman 3 Day walk for the cure, but was the top fundraiser in all of Chicagoland, and got to stand on the stage during the opening and closing ceremonies. Bonus Sister P was by her side the whole walk, and we were all there beaming with pride to see them finish.

Good Enough to Eat was released and people seem to enjoy it and have been saying nice things about it online and in print. I sold a new book, Bread & Butter, which will be out in the Summer of 2012.

The people I love, know that I love them, and so today I send the world a thank you for letting me have them in my life, and a wish that the year ahead for them will be filled with joy and good things.

The rest of it is just for me.

Except for this. Before we all get wrapped up in New Year sparkles, and the inevitable slam of work and life that follows, I want to say that I am grateful everyday for you...and thank you for reading and commenting and sharing. I love knowing that you are out there, and hope that I can continue to amuse you. And when I ask the universe for all good things for the people who are important to me, you are very much included in that.

Yours,
The Polymath

Snacember 27

2010-12-27T01:59:00.002-06:00

I love it when I get inspired at the grocery store to come up with an off-the cuff recipe. This one happened completely by chance.

I was in the produce section of Whole Foods and picked up a package of peeled butternut squash chunks for roasting, a favorite side dish at this time of year. Then I spotted some fresh sheets of pasta, and visions of lasagna began to float in my head. Charming Suitor is not much of a red-sauce guy, so I started imagining a blonde dish. I grabbed some ricotta.

At home, some shallots decided to join the party, and a quick bechamel poked its head up and before I knew it , this lasagna was born.

Butternut Squash Lasagna

1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3 1/2 cups whole milk
Pinch ground nutmeg
1 pound whole-milk ricotta cheese
1/2 cup heavy cream
2 large egg yolks
2 medium fresh buffalo mozzarella balls, shredded
3 lbs butternut squash chunks
3 shallots
2 T canola oil
½ t sugar
¼ c grated parmagiano reggiano
Zest of one lemon
2 T chopped chives
Fresh lasagna noodles, 1 package (or regular lasagna noodles, cooked according to package directions)
Salt and Pepper
Extra Virgin Olive oil

Preheat oven to 400. Toss squash chunks and shallots in oil and place in one layer on a sheet pan. Sprinkle with the sugar, and salt and pepper. Roast until caramelized and tender, about 35-45 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool. Chop separately and set aside.

Melt butter in a saucepan, whisk in flour and cook for 2 minutes. Whisk in milk and let cook till thickened. Season to taste with salt and pepper and a little bit of nutmeg. Set aside to cool slightly.

Mix ricotta with cream. Add in the chopped chives and chopped shallots and lemon zest. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Once you like the flavor, blend in the egg yolks.

Put 1/2 of the ricotta on the bottom of your lasagna pan, followed by a layer of noodles. Put 1/2 of the béchamel on top of the noodles, followed by 1/2 the squash, sprinkle with the parmagiano.

Another layer of noodles, the remaining ricotta, then the rest of the squash.

More noodles, the rest of the béchamel then the shredded mozzarella. Drizzle with olive oil.

Refrigerate for up to two days if you like, or bake immediately in a 350 oven for 45 minutes. Allow to rest for 10-15 minutes before serving.

For a variation, halve the squash and replace with chunks of another cooked vegetable like zucchini, kale, sweet potatoes, Jerusalem artichokes….whatever strikes your fancy!

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 26

2010-12-26T09:08:00.003-06:00

Too. Much. Ham.

Traditional Christmas Ham, thefoodpornographer.com

In veritable ham coma.

But still sane enough to know that this, right here? Is VERY VERY WRONG.

I mean, I know it is either the joy dream or nightmare of my people, but still...so. very. wrong.

But hilarious.

Reminds me of the time I went to a conference in Houston, and the vegetarians asked what items were on the buffet that they could eat. They were motioned over to the following items:

Salad (with bacon bits and salami)
Cream of Potato Soup (cooked in chicken stock)
Corn (with bacon)
Collard Greens (cooked with ham hocks)
Green Beans (more bacon)
And BBQ beans (bacon AND sausage)

God Bless us Every One.

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 25

2010-12-25T06:57:00.002-06:00

We all know what today is, don't we?

Yup....it is NATIONAL MOVIE AND CHINESE FOOD DAY!

Also? Christmas.

And yes, my darling fiance (I may eventually tire of that word, but not this week) Charming Suitor and I will be headed out to celebrate the Yuletide with Officer K's lovely family, who have adopted me and ply me with ham. But I do love the movie and Chinese food tradition of my people, and it is likely that later tonight there will be a DVD and some takeout. So I thought I would give you a recipe that honors both! A lovely appetizer to bring to your Xmas celebration, but in that American Chinese Food tradition.

thanks saveur.com

Chinese-Style Spare Ribs

1/3 cup hoisin sauce
1/4 cup soy sauce
3 T honey
3 tablespoons dry sherry
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
2 tablespoons. sugar
1 T fresh grated ginger
3/4 teaspoon. red food coloring (opt)
1/4 teaspoon Chinese five spice powder
1 2-pound slab spareribs, preferably St. Louis style, cut into individual ribs

Whisk together all marinade ingredients in a large bowl. Place ribs in a large ziploc bag and pour in the marinade. Seal the bag, pressing out as much air as possible, and massage to coat ribs evenly. Place in the refrigerator and marinate for one hour to overnight.

Remove ribs from the refrigerator Preheat oven to 350. Place the ribs on a rack over a roasting pan, with a little water in the bottom, reserving marinade. Cover with foil and cook at for 35 minutes. Baste ribs with reserved marinade; flip and baste again. Cover and continue to cook for 35 minutes more.

Baste with remaining marinade and up the heat to 500. Cook ribs uncovered until they are glazed and browned, about 5 to 10 minutes more. Remove from the oven, let cool for 5 minutes, and serve.

Yours in Good Taste,
Fa La La La La
The Polymath

Snacember 24

2010-12-24T08:44:00.003-06:00

For those of you who tuned in a couple of days ago, I reported that my Charming Suitor had popped the big question, to which I said yes, making him my Charming Fiance. Except, as he has informed me this morning, that while he is delighted to be affianced to me and is looking forward to making me his wife very soon, he has every intention of continuing to woo me for the rest of our lives together, and therefore, Charming Suitor he shall remain here in print!

But make no mistake based on the semantics, the engagement is very on, we are all floaty and schmoopy, and overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from everyone. To all who commented with your good wishes, we both thank you most humbly.

Now, let me just take this moment to say to you all...

MERRY EVERYTHING AND HAPPY ALWAYS!

A little holiday message from me....

For those of you who celebrate Christmas, I hope Santa brings you everything you want, that Aunt Martha doesn't get schnockered on the Nog and go all Truth Telling at dinner, and that the turkey is neither dry nor raw.

For those of you who do not celebrate Christmas, I hope you are either doing what I do, and glomming on to someone else's celebration, or simply enjoying a lovely winter's night.

Charming Suitor and I are off to bask in the glow of R&R's tree and hospitality. There will be Swedish meatballs, and Amazing Goddaughter will open her presents, and Officer K and Charming Suitor will continue their ball-busting bromance, and all will be right with the world.

As a fun little holiday gift, the people at Bon Home sent us a couple of their toys, just in time for holiday entertaining.

The heat and dry dishrack is freaking amazing. We set it up at Charming Suitor's house, where there is no dishwasher, and it works like a charm! The dishes were ready to put away with no water spots in about 15 minutes. He loves it! Great large capacity, quiet, and most of the parts can go in the dishwasher. Perfect for those endless wineglasses and good china this time of year.

And we are excited to have this heat lamp for keeping food warm on a buffet, as we have a gaggle coming over on New Year's Day, and the food needs to maintain for a few hours.

Whee! New toys. Check them out, I think you'll like them, and while you won't have them in time for Xmas, you might be able to sneak them in for New Year's celebrations if you jump on it now!

I hope all is right in your world as well.

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 23

2010-12-23T08:24:00.000-06:00

Do you love your kitchen? Or do you hate your kitchen?

I have a love/hate relationship with my kitchen.

On the one hand, for an old building, my kitchen is a decent size, and even rarer, it has an awesome dishwasher. Charming Suitor and I can cook easily in it together, even for dinner parties and the massive Thanksgiving feast we did this year. And while the layout is a little weird, and there isn't enough storage (my fault for volume, not the kitchen's for size), and the counter space is limited...it mostly works for me.

On the other hand, the stove is electric, not gas, the refrigerator is around the corner, and the limited counters are formica. And the floor is ghasly 1976 linoleum in a harvest gold fake brick pattern that always looks a little dirty. And don't get me started on the tiles.

I gave up a while back on making big cosmetic changes, and have focused on making functional changes. I have been slowly reorganizing drawers, purging unused equipment, streamlining processes. One of the projects I have wanted to do forever is to figure out how to work with the lower cabinets that flank the stove. They are roomy, but very deep, turning them into a black hole for gear, and requiring that you pull everything out every time you need something.

Deadly black hole of Tupperware!

YIKES!

Seriously.

Then a rescue! Shelves that Slide sent me shelves on rails that work like shallow drawers, so that the cabinets become a billion times more useful! No more shoving everything in and pulling everything out every minute.

SHUT UP! How pretty is this????

So much easier!

Ahhh.

Even better, they were really easy to install, and when I looked on their website, VERY reasonably priced. They work like a dream. Makes me wish I had more cabinets so I could get more of them! They are all custom made, so you will get the perfect thing for your cabinet, and they have a variety of styles. Five stars!

What do you love about your kitchen? What do you want to change? What kitchen organization tool has made the biggest improvement?

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 22

2010-12-22T02:01:00.025-06:00

I interrupt this previously scheduled post for a quick announcement.

They say with momentous news, it is better to just get it out, no preliminaries, no qualifiers, like ripping off a band-aid. And you all have been so lovely and supportive of me and my life, that I feel the need to be honest with you all.

I no longer have a Charming Suitor.

No one is more shocked than I, I can tell you that. After all, we have been talking about the future together for so long, that I was pretty sure that 2011 was going to be the year he popped the question.

Apparently I was wrong.

He didn't want to wait that long.

I am beyond delighted to share with you all that while I may not have a Charming Suitor anymore, I do have a freshly minted Charming Fiance, who surprised me last night with the world's loveliest proposal, which I think I said YES to about every third word he got out of his mouth, poor man. I know I share a lot, and I also know that you all will understand that I am keeping the specifics between he and I and the family....he signed on for me, not particularly for the whole public internet persona thing, and he has been a very good sport since the beginning. But I know that he approves of my need to share the joy with you all! Suffice it to say it was romantic, and exceeded all expectations, and I am floating on air and can't stop grinning. Especially since along with him I also get the whole Charming Family! As you all know, I adore my own family to to point of near delirium, and it has been one of the best things about CF to watch him fit in and build relationships and really fully embrace my family and be embraced by them. And now I get to double my immediate family...HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!

I am about the luckiest girl on the planet.

And now that I have shared the news, I return you to your previously scheduled post, which may not be nearly as exciting as an engagement, but does include a recipe for fudge, so how bad could it be?

Remember when the airlines used to give you snacks, instead of asking you to cough up fourteen bucks for a stale cookie the size of your head or a tube of Lay's Fake Pringles? Remember when the best thing they could give you were these cookies?

Spicy, sweet, not quite ginger snaps, not quite snickerdoodles, the Biscoff cookie of flights gone by is actually a version of a cookie called, somewhat ridiculously, a Speculoos. A spice shortbread cookie, often made with a combination of cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, ginver and white pepper, not to mention dark brown sugar, these crisp beauties are addictive.

But aren't you sick to death of cookie recipes by now?

Thought so.

A while back, I discovered that the people who make the fabulous cookies, also make this:

This is Speculoos paste, tastes just like the cookie, but has the texture of creamy peanut butter. YUM! So I thought, hey! What if I took a yummy cookie flavor and made candy instead? How about Speculoos Fudge!

This is insanely easy, comes together in about 10 minutes, and will get you out of your cookie rut. Perfect for gifting.

(If you can't find the paste, or just want to make it yourself, take a package of the cookies and whir in a processor till powdery. Add about 1/4 cup coconut oil, 3 T sugar, a dash of vanilla, a pinch of cinnamon, and drizzle in canola oil till you get the texture you want, you're looking for peanut butter texture here.)

You're welcome.

Speculoos Fudge

Butter, for greasing pan
1 (14 oz. ) can sweetened condensed milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
8 oz. high-quality white chocolate chips or chunks
1 cup Biscoff paste, room temperature
3 tbsp unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
Sea salt, approximately 1/2 tsp
1/4 t cinnamon
1/4 t ground nutmeg
1/8 t ground white pepper
pinch ground clove
pinch ground cardamom

Grease the bottom and sides of an 8- by 8-inch baking pan with butter. Line the pan with parchment paper, leaving a 2-inch overlap on the sides, to mke it easier to get the fudge out of the pan.

In a medium glass or stainless steel bowl, stir together sweetened condensed milk, vanilla, chocolate chips, biscoff paste, and butter.

Make a double-boiler by setting the bowl over a medium pot of gently simmering water. The water level should be low enough that the bottom of the bowl does not touch the water. Stir until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth and thick, 5 to 7 minutes.

Scrape the mixture into the prepared pan, spread the top smooth with a spatula. Mix the salt and spices toether, and sprinkle over the top of the fudge. Refrigerate until the fudge is firm, at least 2 hours. Cut into squares (I can get 64 out of this!) and serve.

Yours in Good And Deliriously Happy Affianced Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 21

2010-12-21T01:49:00.000-06:00

Whose dumb idea was this Snack a Day December anyway? Yeesh. Even I am bored of me, and I LOVE ME. Seriously. I could spend hours with me.

It seemed like such a good idea back in November, when I was bathed in the afterglow of a delicious Thanksgiving. But here I am, ten days to go, and lets be honest...pickin's are getting a little slim in the old idea file.

So today, I give you, for no particular reason...

Literal Video Total Eclipse of the Heart

Because if you are working a normal job, this is the week you spend futzing around online pretending to work, and counting hours till you are released for the holiday weekend.

If you are not familiar with the Literal Video movement, it is videos of popular songs, many of them from the 80s, my favorite decade, redubbed with lyrics that describe the action in the video. Literally.

I dunno about you, but they make me laugh till I almost pee myself. So I thought I would share my favorite.

What are your guilty pleasure YouTubes? Share with the class...

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 20

2010-12-20T01:46:00.013-06:00

First off, CONGRATS to Riann, for winning the best kids holiday comment...you not only renewed a childn's faith in Santa, you made him excited to get underwear for Christmas. Brava. E-mail me your address at staceyballisinfo (at) gmail (dot) com and I will send you your Make Your Own Gummies Kit!

I don't know if it is cold where you are, but it is bitter here in Chicago! And as we know, it stays this way for long stretches. Like November thru May.

Chicagoans are proud of our ability to suffer the cold. I am no exception. I am one of those insane people who actually gears up to go to the Bears games in the winter...

I get this illness from my Dad, who has, as you can see, given it to my sister as well.

It is much more fun when they win, which they spectacularly did not on this occasion. But I digress.

The thing about so much cold is that it requires a pretty serious repetoire of comforting stews and soups and such. Because a warm bowl of comfort is much needed when one has done things like sit outside in 40 mile an hour winds and snow and ten below zero windchill to watch a team get spanked.

Hypothetically.

Eventually, you get a little tired of the standard chilis and ubiquitous beef stew. And then you need something new. Something fresh.

This is my twisty new take on an old French classic, Blanquette de Veau. In the traditional Blanquette de Veau, a creamy veal stew, there is an abundance of mushrooms.

thanks twoyolks.org

As I have mentioned before, HERE, I don't like most mushrooms. I especially don't like the white button mushrooms that this dish calls for. However, I do like veal, and creamy oniony sauces that get sopped up by rice or noodles or potatoes, and I especially like that it is a more elegant and refined stew, which makes it lovely for dinner parties.

So, I changed it. I swapped out the mushrooms (GACK!) for parsnips, which add the necessary vegetable bulk, and a subtle sweetness that actually works very well! Yay me! (A lot of recipes call for carrots, which I think are too sweet, and I don't love the orange color in my soothing pale stew. Try the parsnips, they are just, well, better!)

Give it a try and let me know what you think.

Stacey's Almost Blanquette De Veau

6 cups chicken stock
3 pounds veal shoulder in cubes
1 medium onion, quartered
1 celery stalk, in 1-inch pieces
2 leeks (white part), chopped
1 pound parsnips, peeled and cut into 1 inch pieces
4 sprigs thyme
3 T chopped flat leaf parsley
Salt and ground white pepper
10 ounces pearl onions, peeled
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup heavy cream

In a 4-5 quart casserole place stock, veal, onion, celery, leeks, thyme and parsley sprigs, and salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 1 1/2 hours, skimming frequently.

Boil pearl onions for 3 minutes. Drain. Heat oil and cook parsnips and onions until lightly colored and tender. Set aside

When the veal is tender, drain it. Reserve 3 cups stock, discarding vegetables and herbs. Wipe out casserole and melt butter in it. Whisk in flour, cook for a minute to get rid of the raw flour taste . Whisk in stock, cook 5 minutes until slightly thickened. Whisk in cream. Add veal, parsnips and onions. Simmer 5 minutes and taste for seasoning. Serve over rice, buttered noodles, sauteed gnocchi, or with buttered new potatoes, garnished with chopped parsley.

Do you have any classic dishes that you have altered to suit your personal tastes? Do share with the class!

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 19

2010-12-19T01:35:00.000-06:00

This just makes me laugh. Not at all holiday related, but a funny little snack all the same. Enjoy!

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath

Snacember 18

2010-12-18T01:23:00.001-06:00

In a very strange twist, I have discovered that one of the best holiday side dishes, easy to make, excellent reheated, travels well, can be eaten room temp or hot, and goes beautifully with the traditional Christmas proteins of ham and crown roast of pork and prime rib and turkey is....

Noodle kugel.

Yup. That very traditional Jewish dish of egg noodles in a creamy slightly sweet custard, the centerpiece of the Yom Kippur breaking of the fast, and the Rosh Hashanah brisket playmate, it really is delicious with everything! And I love the idea of incorporating dishes from other traditions in your holiday meals.

So here is my family's recipe. I often double it and make two to bring to the buffet, since it is great for breakfast as well, and means the hosts don't have to get up early and fix something for themselves and any houseguests. I also sometimes bake it in muffin tins for pretty individual servings.

Noodle Kugel

16 ounces broad egg noodles
4 Tbsp. butter, melted
16 oz.cottage cheese
16 oz.sour cream
4 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup sugar
2 Tbsp. vanilla extract
1 cup crushed cornflakes
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4-1/2 cup sugar

Cook noodles in boiling salted water according to package direction. Drain and rinse with cold water. In a large bowl, mix the noodles with the melted butter, cheese, eggs, sugar and vanilla. Pour into a greased 9x13 inch pan. In a separate bowl, mix the cornflakes, cinnamon and sugar. Sprinkle the cornflake mixture on top of the noodle mixture. Bake for about 1 hour at 350 degrees Fahrenheit or until the top is brown.

Yours in Good Taste,
The Polymath